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Critical Analysis #1
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Two Poems
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Two Poems |
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Greg_s Junior Member
since 2000-11-23
Posts 36Los Angeles, CA |
I. the drink-- metallic sky-fingers : pores of the tongue limbic semen stretching Q. Mabb is on the nose -colors II. the trick-- card shark declares pung: i am about to disappear the nothing that is ahead is about to appear. one is taken from the discard. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Greg Sargent - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Marq Member
since 1999-10-18
Posts 222 |
I think your first poem is good, though I was unable to find the meaning of limbic so I can't pass judgment entirely on that one. The second poem is pretty good too, but I think the 'I am about to disappear' line and the line following could be improved. |
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roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
greg- hello and welcome. i see you have a vast vocabulary at your disposal, i just don't know what you want me to feel when i read this. it has a lot of potential, but i think it lacks clarity. otherwise, enjoyable sounds are produced by reading these, but really there should be more. the words make it seem as though there should be a pretty potent message here. what is it? |
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Greg_s Junior Member
since 2000-11-23
Posts 36Los Angeles, CA |
marq- the oxford english dictionary's definition for limbic is: "Pertaining to, or having the character of, a border; in limbic lobe (of cerebrum), ‘term applied by Broca to the gyrus fornicatus and its prolongation, constituting the anterior part of the uncinate gyrus, because they are marked off in nearly all mammals from the surrounding convolutions’ (Syd. Soc. Lex.); also limbic fissure, the fissure surrounding this lobe. Also, of or pertaining to the limbic lobe or limbic system; limbic system, a region of the brain comprising the limbic lobe and certain neighbouring areas (see quot. 19671)." roxane- the bigger picture you want has to do with marq's query of the meaning of limbic. the first part of this poem (it is really only one poem, not two) has to do with things being nebulous and on the fringe. i used limbic because i think that word connotes this in a subtle yet steady way. the second part invites a bit more concreteness into the poem. it brings the meaning that was on the umbra of the first part into a definitive moment for the event of the poem. i do think that the first part is difficult to decipher, but the second part makes it possible. i think to sum it up, meaning can exist in a dream like state (hence the queen mab reference and also one of p. b. shelley's poems of the same name), but events of cold reality bring it to light, and then we can be lost in it ("i am about to disappear"). whether the noun "nothing" can represent this meaning is debateable, but i think that it can, that infinite meaning could exist in a pretext of nothing. hence also, my brevity regarding the length of the poem, and the lack of more concrete things in th poem. |
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