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Critical Analysis #1
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anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979


0 posted 2001-05-05 01:20 AM


all that was in this poem never was dreamed but..imagined..

also i wrote this kind of poem to discover something else.."my imagination"..i guess..cause everybody seem to say i wrote "real" poems so yea..hope you guys like it..and enjoy the true meaning behind this poem..


i spread my wings to fly,
  into the skies above
where i’ve found,
  my true friend in freedom of love

as the skies are like blue water,
  with a light that shines through
which i’m lost in this ecstacy,
  forever in tranquility to view

as the images i see,
  are beautiful paintings so vivid to be
but i can’t explain it in words,
  so just imagine with me

lets journey through this path,
  hoping it’ll never end
cause all the time will be left in memories,
  treasures of our times in love my friend

then in my thoughts,  
  lies the emotions that only matters
as i miss,
  those skies of blue waters

but i’m only to acknowledge the place in my dreams,  
  leaving me with my fears
that shows nothing but an imagination,
  of this wish in endless tears...


[and the "friend" is me within]

apr.30

also i dont know which one to title this..
'skies of blue waters'
'tears of a dreamer','dreams'
and i just wanted to know what you guys in CA would say on this poem..its really different from my other poems..its great to try other stuff thru poetry..anyways..hope you guys like it..cya~

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 05-05-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 ALBY - All Rights Reserved
roxane
Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505
us
1 posted 2001-05-05 12:13 PM


albert-
i like the first stanza a lot.  the freedom of love thing seems like it could work well here.  in your little imaginings you can have someone you can't have in real life.  that's what i felt when i first read it.  the rest of the poem doesn't follow any particular theme, except at the end when you come back to the friend inside of you.
i like what you're trying to do.  now pull something out of it, one complete idea and write.  this is the sort of poem that inspires the writer.  the rest of us don't have that much of an idea what is going on in your head.
good luck.  

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