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Critical Analysis #1
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Passnot
Junior Member
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18


0 posted 2001-05-02 07:42 AM


When I last talked to my love
She tells me goodbye
From day to day without reply

My emptied heart has no more warmth
Missing "my everything" in my life
I cry myself to sleep with a knife

Will I ever see the glimmer in her eyes
The love story that was not by the book
Only heard and read, but never by look

---that's what i have so far----

© Copyright 2001 Passnot - All Rights Reserved
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

1 posted 2001-05-02 09:05 AM


I cry myself to sleep with a knife "

lose this line, it does nothing for the poem and is a forced rhyme, find another and I think you will have a very nice poem.

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