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Critical Analysis #1
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Kirk T Walker
Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 357
Liberty, MO

0 posted 2001-04-28 12:08 PM


Walking to the Mailbox
by Kirk T Walker    

The country breeze breathes of ripening manure
and other such scents as demure
for a country lane on a sweltering day
as the butterflies dance and the flower’s decay.


© Copyright 2001 Kirk T Walker - All Rights Reserved
Xeonox
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Senior Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764
CA, USA
1 posted 2001-04-29 02:58 AM


this just describes a person walking to a mailbox in a particular environment. Add some mysery to it.

Ronil (One becomes god only when they have fully understood the role of being a human being.)

furlong
Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 129

2 posted 2001-04-29 05:47 AM


Kirk

I like the little twist at the closure and its implications, imho this subtlety is infinitely preferable to the more overt and obvious pseudo-philosophical poetry we have been seeing in the forum recently.  

The imagery and rhythm in this is ok as well although the juxtaposition of “breeze and breathes” is a bit of a tongue twister if read aloud (though maybe you were shooting for the sound of the breeze?).  Also “demure” .....humm ..not sure about that - the suggestion that the smell of ripening manure is “demure” is kinda hard to take when you’ve lived next door to a farmyard for 20 years!  And if you meant the scent of flowers etc..the this wasn’t entirely clear.  Still, all in all, a nice atmospheric innocuous little piece with, as I say, a bit of interest at the end.

Thanks

F

Kirk T Walker
Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 357
Liberty, MO
3 posted 2001-04-30 02:04 PM


Xeonox:  On the surface, yes, it is just about a walk to the mail box.  However, the "mystery" comes with lines like "flowers decay" and the idea that "ripening manure" would be a demure scent.  Further mystery is added by the expectation of something being received in the mail.  How does the setting reflect what may be in the mail or on expectations in general?  Anyway, I guess I was sort of aiming for the "no ideas but in things" approach. Thanks for your comments.

furlong: Having grown up on a farm and having walked to the very mailbox refered to in the poem, I can assure you that manure is just one of the many subtle aroma's which one might smell.  However, the irony was intended to be in the fact that this scent is particularly noted.  I am not sure what kind of farmyard you have been living next to, but I would like to note that there is a great difference between the sufficating stench of a crowded lot and the more delicate (demure, if you will) scent of a well-mangage country pasture.  Thank you very much for your comments.

roxane
Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505
us
4 posted 2001-04-30 10:11 PM


kirk-
i for one definitely see the mystery in it.  butterflies dancing as flowers decay?  it's beautiful, and disturbing.  how are they living as the flowers die?  i think this is very nice.  i'm also wondering, is the "mail" symbolic?  do you mean these images and scents and things are what you got when you really just went to get the mail?  the title is the thing i don't really understand.  and in fact, when i think about it, it doesn't seem to be about actually getting mail at all.

Kirk T Walker
Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 357
Liberty, MO
5 posted 2001-05-01 09:05 AM


roxane: thank you very much for your comments.  Like most of my poems, this is based on an actual experience.  My mailbox is at the end of a country lane.  However, my attempt is at transforming ordinary experiences into poetic works.  Just because it is based on reality, doesn't mean it can't be in some ways abstract and "mysterious".  The title is intended to give a sense of foreshadowing and of continued action.  The speaker never arrives at the mailbox in this poem, the reader must speculate whether or not and why the mailbox is important to this poem.
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