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Raj_Yura
Junior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 13


0 posted 2001-01-12 05:42 PM


      
       A Reflection


       Good looks a virtue
       An Old lady told me
       You find a spouse
       Even late


       Her face hardly wears an emotion
       Naked in stilting than it was cold
       Her eyes fixed
       Clobbered into stone
       I saw a Medussa
       I was a stone


© Copyright 2001 Raj_Yura - All Rights Reserved
J.L. Humphres
Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 201
Alabama
1 posted 2001-01-13 03:38 AM


Raj,
  This one escapes me. You are over my head. I need some explanation.
                     J.L.H.

Jason
God is a warm whisper from the cool void.
Jack Kerouac

Raj_Yura
Junior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 13

2 posted 2001-01-13 06:38 PM


Hi !

The poem relates to a character in greek mythology : Medussa who made love in the
temple of Aphrodite and was cursed by her
that anyone who would see her would turn into stone. The poem reflects the idea of beauty.In the first stanza the good looks
are taken as a virtue. The very next stanza
brings the other aspect of beauty that is a
curse
  I hope this may help
  Thanks
                Raj Yura

Pearls_Of_Wisdom
Member
since 2000-09-02
Posts 175

3 posted 2001-01-14 09:57 AM


Hi there Raj_Yura,

I was also confused by this before reading your hints. I think "Good looks a virtue" I took as "Good looks like a virtue", which seemed a little redunant and didn't mean anything to me. Now, I get it: you meant it as "Good looks are a virtue". Is there a word or two you could add there to help clarify it a bit perhaps?

After reading your explanation, I think I got it and appreciated it a lot more. The only part I'm still stuck on is another line with a small number of words: "than it was cold". I got the other part of the image, of a lady carved into stone, though.

Anyway, this shows promise and I like the idea of using as few words as possible, but maybe making those two parts a little clearer would help, especially since it's so short. It did have an impact when I got it.

Ashley

Brad
Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea
4 posted 2001-01-14 10:01 PM


I like the first stanza -- it sounds like a non-native speaker of English -- that's a nice touch. However, in the next stanza you say, "Her face hardly wears an emotion". How can we take this except as the old woman? The effect is too jarring for my taste if your explanation is accurate.

Perhaps give us more of a transition between the two scenes.

Just an opinion,
Brad

Raj_Yura
Junior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 13

5 posted 2001-01-15 02:09 PM


Hi !
     Brad,u r right that the woman in second
stanza doesn't imply the old woman in the
first stanza. In fact it is the opposite,the
woman in second stanza is much younger than
the one in first stanza.
U have a point in saying that there should be a intermediate stanza that completes the
transation from the first to the second.
But i thought the intermediate stanza might
spoil the contrast. I wanted to juxtapose
the two extremes.

Anyway thanks for the suggestion , i might
consider writing the intermediate stanza
and see if it works

Thanks
    Raj Yura

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