Asinine Elaboration(repost from open poetry 10)

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Critical Analysis #1

Asinine Elaboration(repost from open poetry 10)

AniKay83
Member

since 2000-06-28

Posts 388
Missing Since 1999

0 posted 2000-10-30 01:24 PM

I had an unforgiving heart
with an obnoxious disposition.
Who could not drive away from memory
all that sorrowful retention.
I had a habit of forming
redundant perceptions of touch,
Writing maddeningly sad rhapsodies
on my paper mache heart.

Dreams drift drowsily about me.
Chant casually to totally sedate me.
The grip on my subconcious begins to frighten me.

And he had a name
...oh, did he have a name.

I had dreamt this name before!
My soul had feigned that romantic
label upon two lonely lips.
Even Cassandra,
that Pythian palmist of portents,
could not envision the Callaesthics
involved with pressing his fingertips.

Yet my solemn sigh of sweet suffering-
Never breathed in his direction...

Still he found me,
tired and broken,
standing soaked through to my soul.
Lost in that wild storm of intumescent hearts.
Savoring it's short life in the sky.
Hell-born light racing across the stars,
shattering Heaven to rain down upon my head.
Then gently it succumbs to the purple night.
In all that charismatic chaos-
Still he found me.

Sadly I shook-
security scared away.

This feeling...
Of being alive for the first time!
Such innocuous, uninhibited tenderness
seemed a phony, foriegn wile.
I remained the undeserving unbeliever.
Insecure, with lowered head,
awaiting judgement...

Yet his affection survived forthright and unbiased.
Still, my unkempt assurance of
unworthiness never swayed.
I couldn't discern how to initiate my surrender.
There I stood,
bound by trivial misgivings
and masochistic melancholy.
Consideration comes too close to craving...
Omniscent obsession obliterates observation.

When I only wanted to hold you...
To press my palm upon your chest,
abound in the rhythm of your heartbeat.
To rise and fall within your breath.
Inundate in you...
Swim in the serene security of your smile.

I was dazzeled by your cadence.
The calm of your wake leaving me utterly fascinated.
Undulating in a pacified state.
His earnest desire beget new beginnings.

Could you believe acquaintance had such auspicious
audacity?

I can...
because he showed me-
That we didn't need all those
complex words or emotions.

Just me and you,
and the promise of us two.

Much love all,
Krissie

AniKay83
Member

since 2000-06-28

Posts 388
Missing Since 1999

1 posted 2000-10-30 01:30 PM

Just a note: I feel like my poetry has really grown with this piece. But I suppose you'd have to read previous poems of mine to come to that conclusion, and it is after all, just my own opinion of myself. But that's why I chose this piece to be posted here. I rarely post in CA, but I welcome the pulling apart of this piece. I'm curious to see how everyone might interpret this. You show me yours and I'll show you mine.

Much love all,
Krissie

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