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Stephanos
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-31
Posts 3618
Statesboro, GA, USA

0 posted 2000-10-28 12:09 PM


Excuse the repost.  This is one I posted a while back on the Corner Pub.  I really enjoy comic verse and was wonderin' what you all thought of this one.  

Consolation for the Frogs

Kermit once conveyed
"It sure ain't easy bein' green".
like emeralds (except without the sheen),
or that dress that shopping ladies hiss
"the ugliest I've seen".
indeed no fashion addict's find.
Painted like that duller shade
in watermelon rind.
Frogs are apt to seek their friends
among the color blind,
or those who wouldn't feel
they wish such warty skins would peel
and soon give way to brighter hues.
For frogs are very sensitive
(their tadpole hearts'll bruise!) .
But no one ever said it frog!
None taunted. None poked fun.
Whose faces ever grimaced
at your dermis in the sun?
Perhaps a little girl or two. . .
Okay, well all of them for sure!
But little boys spied in your tones
no grossness to endure.
They prized your rippled textures,
and the mucous from your pores.
They snuck you in their houses,
laid you on their kitchen floors,
stuffed you unsuspecting
down their sisters' underware.
And when their mothers shouted threats
they didn't even care.
They toted you in pockets
just to take you in again.
Harmless boyish antics
though disgusting, hardly sin!
Their affinity for you, their love
was so reptillian!
And green or not you won their hearts.
Don't minimize your worth just cuz
along with catipillar fuzz
you ranked right next to armpit farts.
As prepubescent honors go,
there aren't any higher.
Perhaps your pea-green pageantry
is something to admire.
At least their favorite colors weren't
fuschia, teal, or Barbie pink.
O noble frog, have cheer.
This is a TOADal praise!
. . . at least I think!

SDJ   10/2000

© Copyright 2000 Stephen Douglas Jones - All Rights Reserved
jbouder
Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534
Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash
1 posted 2000-11-06 01:21 PM


Stephanos:

Sorry for the delay.  I thought the poem had some good moments.  The anal-ity in me caused me to balk at "reptillian" (frogs are amphibian) but I recognize that this poem was intended for fun.

I would suggest that you format the poem differently, however.  On the computer screen, it was somewhat difficult for me to read.  This may just be me.  "Armpit farts" and "pea-green" seemed like you overextended yourself in your attempt to be funny (I think the poem had funnier moments without having to resort to bathroom humor).  Just an opinion.

All-in-all, I'd say I liked the poem.  Thanks for the read.

Jim

Stephanos
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-31
Posts 3618
Statesboro, GA, USA
2 posted 2000-11-06 06:18 PM


jboulder,

Thanks for your comments.  Could you be a little more specific when you speak of a "different format"?  I'm not sure exactly what you mean here.  Any suggestions would be welcomed.  

And yes you could call that "bathroom humor".  But I was not being crude for the sake of crudeness alone.  When I was a boy 'armpit farts' were a noble and admirable thing among peers.  I guess I was just trying to look on those days with humor, and at the same time comfort the frog who might imagine that to be 'ranked right next to' these is a deplorable thing.  But I understand how these can be unpleasant words to some (they are to me), and usually humor leaning this way is not my style, but I thought it was fitting and not overly ribald.

I'm glad you enjoyed it however.  It was a piece written for pure fun.

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