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The Purchase (The Return)
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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The Purchase (The Return) |
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Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
Look Dear, I've brought you Byron Come, I'll speak for him in hearth-bright We'll keep warm, defy the snow. Did you by that book for me then? Where is the milk I sent you for? Darling, what were you thinking of? of my angel, and her rose petal skin her honied breath, her ripened lips But Peter! Where's the bread, my cheese? Did you buy any groceries At all? Well... Did you think I would be happy? Scrunched by the stove on naked floors your wife goes belted every day Look at me Peter! What were you thinking of? That I've been scrambling and scraping heaving and cajoling these frayed ends to joining one more time. And in the space where I am stretching our love is dying from not breathing, wheezing for a whiff of time. Yes darling. I have missed you too. Then bruise your knees with me tonight and by our midget candle's light I'll make you a meal of seasoned words As love floods back between us So, we'll have wine then too. [This message has been edited by Elyse (edited 09-29-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Elyse Wilcock - All Rights Reserved | |||
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mysticharm Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 189Canada |
bonjour elyse ...it's been awhile, I love the witt in this poem, I was laughing while reading it but totally lost it on the 'midget candle' lol ...I didn't quite catch the meaning of this line 'your wife goes belted every day', where I live it would mean being drunk everyday but I don't think that's the meaning you intended lol I really enjoyed it Elyse  debbie debbie Think of saying "I Love You" as always being overdue. Love is a gift, not an obligation. unknown |
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Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
im really glad you liked it debbie! im always a glutton for praise. but...i never thought it would be, ya know, funny. although, now that i think about it, the midget candle part could be pretty great. like, instead of short, you think, oh, a candle in the shape of a midget. oh yeah, thats funny im gonna pull a philip on you and not tell what that little part meant, although you are right, i didnt mean his wife is a lush or anything. nice to hear from you, as always hon luv Elyse |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
MY wife a lush !!!...LOL ..you sure know how to provoke a response Elysium ....  actually i've been trying to get to this poem for a while but i'm still too busy to think straight - so don't you go spilling any beans just yet ..i'll try and get back later P |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Elyse, I thought this was wonderful....imaginative, creative...you are really a very talented writer. Enjoyed this a lot, Kris "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." ~ Albert Einstein |
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Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
philip - no! i didnt mean YOUR wife wasnt a lush, the character's wife is who i was talkin bout. but then again, if it will cause you to respond....  kris - awwww, thankyou sweetie. im really glad you liked it. no suggestion tho? not even teeny weeny ones?luv Elyse |
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Forrest Cain Member
since 2000-04-21
Posts 306Chas.,W.V. USA |
Well Elyse I liked this very much. I'm not sure about belted unless you mean it as strapped i.e.(for cash). This was different for you, but you really are a talent. I've been off line so sorry so long in reading. your biggest fan forrest [This message has been edited by Forrest Cain (edited 10-10-2000).] |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Elyse, I'm going with the crowd on this one. I enjoyed it very much. You did push the line with 'wine' and a few other parts but they are so easily muted by some of your other lines that it didn't matter. Well done. Still just an opinion, Brad |
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Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
 all this praise makes me giddy forrest - welcome back sug! am so glad you liked it. to be specific, what i meant with that was she wears a belt every day. cuz her clothes have gotten too small. did that not come across then? brad - its nice to be praised by the author of my Com. book. I know you're him, CONFESS! brad is just your elaborate pseudonym. you are Pearce. C'mon brad, fess up! luv y'all, Elyse |
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