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Buttercups and Blue Belles
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Buttercups and Blue Belles |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
Buttercups and Blue belles She glint the knight in shining armor One morn, just before the sun did shine He paused at a headstone That had no year, nor had been signed This knight she knew, oh so well Master of sword and feather pen She thinks back on the letters Hidden in the hollow tree in the glen Each morning, at suns break There would appear a love note Fresh wild flowers rapped in scroll He was her knight, and of his love he wrote Then the day came The strange message appeared Simply saying ”You have loved a lie” The ink so oddly sloppy and smeared The grave she knows, belongs to one Who could neither read nor write More then four words at a time But his smile put her heart in flight The boy was the student The knight his master And forbidden friendship they shared Had only caused disaster No more love letters from that day on She recalls, as tears sting her cheek And the knight rides off alone Her future now, so dark and bleak By the morning light a stable boy Would pick buttercups and blue belles The colour of her hair and eyes She knew his secret, but her lips never did tell They were penpals He had a flare for words A stable boy, who wrote so beautifully Was just simply, unheard of… and absurd |
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| © Copyright 2000 Marina Crossley - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Wesley the Blue Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 426Forest Lake, MN, USA |
This flows realy nice. Its a good start. The one thing that I can come up with that could be better is clarity. I am still a little confused as to who was writing the love letters and who's grave the knight was standing over. I would realy like to know. Other than that I liked it alot. |
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Wesley the Blue Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 426Forest Lake, MN, USA |
oh, and I also am not quite sure what "glint" means in the context of the poem. |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
Der Keit, thank you very much for your input. First, glint means to watch or survey someone. And as for who was writing the letters, who killed who and who's grave it is, I leave it all up to the reader to reread the poem and decide for themselves. What you see in this poem another may not and visa versa. Thank you again for your comments.  Marina It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen Marina Crossley |
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Novacaine For The Soul Member
since 2000-05-26
Posts 122New Orleans |
dear marina, first, i have to admit a bit of confusion as i worked my way through this poem... i only assumed that someone she knew had died and i was further confused about the nature of the knight and she... were the letters meant for her or for the one buried in the grave?... and the "forbidden friendship" spoken of... was that the friendship of the knight and knave, or of the knight and lady, or of the knave and lady?... anyway, on to the poem itself... in stanza 3, "rapped" should be "wrapped" and i found "He was her knight, and of his love he wrote" to be rather awkward there... i found something lacking in the line "Then the day came" in the fourth stanza, and "She knew his secret, but her lips never did tell" in the next to last stanza seemed awkward also... finally, i had a problem with the flow of the lines "They were penpals/ He had a flare for words" in the final stanza... they just didn't seem to fit into the poem very smoothly... you have a wonderful story here, i just feel it could use some clarification of characters and mabye take a look at some of the lines i pointed out... hope to be able to read the revised version soon... sincerely, a sad tomato So let us melt, and make no noise, No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move. |
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mysticharm Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 189Canada |
hi marina this reminds very much about another story of a stable boy who loved this princess but only left her notes cuz he knew he was well beneath her station, later when he was a man he assumed the identity of this dashing pirate and the love notes started all over again, but again she didn't know they were from the lowly stable boy whom she had come to love through the love notes alas, to give love, receive love but not know who it is your loving LOL i liked it debbie Think of saying "I Love You" as always being overdue. Love is a gift, not an obligation. unknown |
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Forrest Cain Member
since 2000-04-21
Posts 306Chas.,W.V. USA |
This was a very nice poem. I enjoyed the subject matter and flow. Look forward to more. forrest. |
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