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A Piper
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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A Piper |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
A Piper "There was a king who ruled the land." It's like an oil slick on the pavement, a rainbow blur hanging on the wall. He peeks a little every day, gazing deep into the jungle, remembering how he would dance with tigers late into the night, until the sun came up and they went back to sleep. But it hurts his eyes, the colors are bright and sharp. They claw at his mind; the tigers come back to dance, but his legs lack the will. So he sits in his room and reads his books and colors his pictures and ignores the paintings, like a shining rock, built with pressure, that cracked and shattered to the cold, hard earth. "Shine on you crazy diamond" I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. —Jack Kerouac |
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JnR4eva Member
since 2000-08-07
Posts 377Bronx, NY |
in no way am i a critic per se...but some who will read a draft and lend some advice...yes  so with that said...."There was a king who ruled the land." Is this the title of the poem? What happened to "the piper"? this statement has left me really confused.  and after reading the whole poem....u mention a king, but then u never mention him again...so why mention him in the first place? Are u saying that king = piper? It's like an oil slick on the pavement, a rainbow blur hanging on the wall. What is like an oil slick on the pavement or a rainbow blur on the wall? After reading the rest of the poem I have a hard time finding a reason why this stanza is here...it isn't used for imagery b/c by language ur trying to say something is like an oil slick...but what? He peeks a little every day, ( the piper? where is he peeking from?) gazing deep into the jungle, remembering how he would dance with tigers late into the night, until the sun came up and they went back to sleep. Why what has happened to this piper? How come he no longer dances with tigers? But it hurts his eyes, the colors are bright and sharp. They claw at his mind; the tigers come back to dance, but his legs lack the will. this is cool at being descriptive but the words and images really aren't strong ..u know what i mean?So he sits in his room and reads his books and colors his pictures and ignores the paintings, like a shining rock, built with pressure, that cracked and shattered (u haven't really shown how he 'cracked') to the cold, hard earth. And this is interesting when I think about it more and more b/c he seems to still have conformed to his situation that he still is in..so he hasn't cracked in any way..or rather broke free...he seems like he has been imprisoned somehow someway and he is staying just that way. "Shine on you crazy diamond" is this statement that u the author, or the narrator is making? Crazy...how so? i already argued about how he hasn't cracked(unless mentally) so he really isnt a diamond after all...or maybe he is..please help me. i feel as if u have thrown the reader into the middle of a story..with no prior knowledge of what took place first. OK overall on the imagery bit...i think u could do a much better job b/c it really was given to the reader on a silver platter..i mean thank you that u wish to be nice, but filling this piece with strong imagery would be wonderful too, most of all ideal. as for the meaning..i am so lost..sorry u really need to put in some more stanzas and probably give us a story of what has happened why is this poor boy in such confines...how come he can't dance with the creatures of the jungle..where is he living now? U have to elaborate on these things please....and like I said the piece was very weak with the images..try to work on that..a lot of readers of poetry like using the imagination much respect < !signature-->"my love is my motivation my love is my inspiration perception of this poem is your interpretation" -- rlt [This message has been edited by JnR4eva (edited 08-30-2000).] |
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