navwin » Archives » Critical Analysis #1 » Encaged
Critical Analysis #1
Post A Reply Post New Topic Encaged Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
memerash
New Member
since 2000-08-13
Posts 2


0 posted 2000-08-18 01:51 AM


Encaged
the tiger sits
in his four walled hell
as the eyes see him
in all his beauty
he crys in anger
and fear
while the people smile and cheer
and helpless as can be
he longs and dreams to be free

© Copyright 2000 memerash - All Rights Reserved
fonics17
Junior Member
since 2000-08-13
Posts 12

1 posted 2000-08-18 04:34 PM


MEWEDITH.  I love this poem, and thank you for letting me put it in my zine.  Teach me how to improve my slapshot sometime, please?  Anyways, my little tiger, I hope you can break through that dark cold cage.  I love the ironicness of the people in the crowd cheering while hearing the tiger roar, all the while he's really roaring out of sadness and hopelessness, I love your use of the word "cry", it really fits the poem.  Well, see you online after work i suppose, down with cvs! down with cvs!


Brad
Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea
2 posted 2000-09-02 08:49 PM


Howard Nemurov comes to mind (he wrote a poem about a sparrow in a lion's cage with a slightly different slant). That would be my suggestion here - try to develop the theme slightly, show a different slant or contrast to the idea of 'dreaming to be free'. Or, try to show the yearning without actually telling us, suggest it, hint at it, but don't hit us over the head with it.

Just an opinion,
Brad

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Critical Analysis #1 » Encaged

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary