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Passions in Poetry

Abortion

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Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 12-21-1999
Posts 5742
Southern Abstentia


0 posted 08-27-2001 07:07 PM       View Profile for Local Rebel   Email Local Rebel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Local Rebel

Abortion
(c) 2001 Night Hawke

It am the big
damn
buggaboo
him and her don't
talk about
cause her don't
think
it's right
him do
or versa
vice

One of them
knots
thou shalt
shout about
bombalot
do or don't
but not
talk about

In this debate
everyone is pro
no con
vincin
anybody much
of nothin

her talk about
rights
him say
right and wrong
the Bible
don't say
anything
atall

Hate is a dead thing. Who of you would be a tomb? -Kahlil Gibran

© Copyright 2001 Local Rebel - All Rights Reserved
Carolina
Member
since 08-17-2001
Posts 231
Myrtle Beach, SC


1 posted 08-27-2001 09:28 PM       View Profile for Carolina   Email Carolina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Carolina

*looking up buggaboo*

Live today as if it's your last.  Love today as if it's your first.   Lisa

hush
Senior Member
since 05-27-2001
Posts 1693
Ohio, USA


2 posted 08-28-2001 12:24 AM       View Profile for hush   Email hush   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for hush

I really like this- it's sort of reminiscent of some of Ginsberg's later stuff, really reminded me of Hum Bom, this really tripped out crazy rant poem...

Anyway, the only confusion I had was the end about the Bible- was it meant to be a snide evangelist remark, as in "nobody reads the Bible anymore, kids should read the Bible" etc., or that the him and her argue about things maybe rotted in biblical ideaology but neither of the actually read the Bible, or just a remark that the Bible is worthless in matters of philosophy... or maybe all of the above?

In any case, wonderful poem, I really like way you played with grammar.

I eat only sleep and air -Nicole Blackman

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 12-21-1999
Posts 5742
Southern Abstentia


3 posted 08-28-2001 12:59 AM       View Profile for Local Rebel   Email Local Rebel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Local Rebel

The Bible is, like most literature, beyond communication with the authors.  It is up to us to find the intent -- or the meaning for us.  

So -- if you think that's what my poem means -- then it does -- to you.  

Thanks hush -- glad you liked
___________

Are you going to get back to us on that Carolina? lol  

[This message has been edited by Local Rebel (edited 08-28-2001).]

Carolina
Member
since 08-17-2001
Posts 231
Myrtle Beach, SC


4 posted 08-28-2001 08:36 AM       View Profile for Carolina   Email Carolina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Carolina

LOL I found it.  I like it, by the way! I really like it.  And, I took the Bible reference to mean that abortion isn't specifically mentioned in the Bible, and because it's not specifically talked about, some people consider that to not be a sin. No matter how you turn it, twist it, or expose it - there will always be two sides and two views to this subject.  I love how you draw that out in this poem, how two people can have different views, different reasons and different impacts on their lives.   *taking notes as always* ((((huggzzzzz))))))

Live today as if it's your last.  Love today as if it's your first.   Lisa

paladin
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Senior Member
since 08-05-2001
Posts 1294
Pensacola,Fl.


5 posted 08-30-2001 10:16 PM       View Profile for paladin   Email paladin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for paladin

Abortion is mentioned in the bible."Thou shall not kill".I firmly think ending the life of a fetus is killing.

paladin

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 12-21-1999
Posts 5742
Southern Abstentia


6 posted 08-31-2001 01:15 PM       View Profile for Local Rebel   Email Local Rebel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Local Rebel

I'm sorry paladin this forum is about poetry. If you want to debate the issue of abortion you could start a thread on it in philosophy or perhaps the alley if it's something that makes you angry.

But thanks for reading and commenting anyway.  
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


7 posted 11-10-2001 11:42 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

smiling...I'm seeing layer here again--
You always make me think, Reb...
So it's your fault if I become dangerous!

Marq
Member
since 10-18-1999
Posts 231


8 posted 11-11-2001 05:19 PM       View Profile for Marq   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marq

I like the flow and style of this.

The Bible ending seemed to me kind of 'thrown in there'.

All the best!
warmhrt
Senior Member
since 12-18-1999
Posts 1566


9 posted 11-13-2001 02:20 PM       View Profile for warmhrt   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for warmhrt

Hi Rebel,

Loved the poem..the format, especially the wordplay. "knots" in the second stanza, and "con"(next line)"vincin" in the third stanza.

Think you captured the whole subject really well in a concise, well-written poem, though I would not expect less of you.

Kris

"It is wisdom to know others;
It is enlightenment to know one's self" - Lao Tzu

jfreak
Member
since 06-17-99
Posts 311
Yuma, AZ, USA


10 posted 11-13-2001 02:37 PM       View Profile for jfreak   Email jfreak   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for jfreak

Reb,

dude...I must say that this was a very intriguing piece.  I definately agree with the others about the excellent use of word play and grammar...to me this was from the view point of the one in the womb...who's grammar would be that way...The Bible comment...well...it does kind of seemed just thrown in there...doesn't fit well...but...hey you are the author and all and that is your perogative...you can do that...I am more than willing to discuss this issue...but you are right about this not being the place for that...feel free to email me if you would like...anyway...
outstanding poem...

J~
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 12-21-1999
Posts 5742
Southern Abstentia


11 posted 11-15-2001 07:17 PM       View Profile for Local Rebel   Email Local Rebel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Local Rebel

Thanks all of you for reading and replying -- glad you liked the word play --  I personally find it essential for free verse especially in the asence of rhyme...

As to the Bible bit -- I thought I wove it in from begining to end -- but it's all in the reading -- glad you could all present your own interpretations.

Thanks again... oh.. and we did discuss it in Philosophy http://piptalk.com/pip/Forum8/HTML/000260.html

if anybody is still interested
shoffswife
Junior Member
since 12-23-2001
Posts 39
KY, US


12 posted 12-23-2001 02:14 AM       View Profile for shoffswife   Email shoffswife   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for shoffswife

i really liked this poem.  i was confused at first, but after i read it a second time i am lovin it.  I agree with the person that said that abortion is mentioned in the bible, but that's my opinion and i don't want to get into a political debate.
anyway, your poem is awesome.  look forward to reading more from you.
lizzyluv
Member
since 12-27-2001
Posts 53
nh, usa. we suck.


13 posted 12-27-2001 10:21 PM       View Profile for lizzyluv   Email lizzyluv   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for lizzyluv

i really appreciated that. i liked the subtlty and the broad slaps in the face. i'm not going to add to the abortion's posativity/negativity debate. but i will raise a question for all of the abopve. how do we know the abortion title refers to the removal of a human fetus? the word is not restricted to pregnancy. it applies to almost any process/sequence cut short. i liked the thou shalt not shout part, but i appreciate twisting of common phrase.

"everyone is broken by something they love and worship"- Francesca Lia Block
*lizzy*

hush
Senior Member
since 05-27-2001
Posts 1693
Ohio, USA


14 posted 12-28-2001 11:52 PM       View Profile for hush   Email hush   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for hush

lizzy, I thought the lines

"her talk about
rights
him say
right and wrong"

were pretty indicative that this is about aborting a pregnancy.

LOL, on a side note, after a re-read of the entire thread, the end seemed kind of humorous to me. I pictured the man and woman yelling at each other in the same horrible stalemate, while the bible averts its eyes, twiddles its thumbs, and hums uncomfortably, wishing it were somewhere else. LOL... it's probably only funny to me... but oh well.

"I'm thinking about leaving tomorrow
I'm thinking about being on my own
I think I been wasting my time
I'm thinking about getting out"

lizzyluv
Member
since 12-27-2001
Posts 53
nh, usa. we suck.


15 posted 01-01-2002 05:55 PM       View Profile for lizzyluv   Email lizzyluv   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for lizzyluv

aright, so you're right, hush. but i still think getting into an abortion debate is unneccesary here.
and it was funny to me, as well, you have an interesting visualization process.

"everyone is broken by something they love and worship"- Francesca Lia Block
*lizzy*

punksmurf
Junior Member
since 01-01-2002
Posts 42
new hampshire, U.S.


16 posted 01-01-2002 06:21 PM       View Profile for punksmurf   Email punksmurf   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for punksmurf

i agree that although there is a section discussing right and wrong, that does not necesarally mean fetal abortion the not quite up to par grammar gave this poem the feeling of real life and not some pshyco's ideal conversation or life, this poem is open and honest, on an issue many feel strongly about. but let's not get into that
~Me
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