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Critical Analysis #1
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Kirsty24
Junior Member
since 2000-03-24
Posts 40
Australia

0 posted 2000-08-10 09:47 PM


Never as goodbye

To meet with you face to face
Is something I thought, a dream
But to know it will really happen
Makes me happier then it may seem

For all the lovers I have left behind
I now save myself for you
The one man that is in my life
The special one who loves me true

Though at times we may be weak
From the oceans that pull us apart
The one-thing oceans can never take
Is the love I give from my heart?

But when the time comes to say farewell
I'll try my hardest not to cry
Remember it as see you soon
And never as goodbye!!


© Copyright 2000 Kirsty O'Hara - All Rights Reserved
Brad
Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea
1 posted 2000-08-16 02:19 AM


Kirsty,
You have no idea how I feel about this type of poem. You see, certain promises were made to me when I left for Japan (some ten years ago). Those promises lasted three months.

So, am I allowed to be a little cynical here?


I think then should be 'than' in the first stanza.

As cynical as I am, I would really like to more about this story, more detail (when do I not say this?). Don't suppose you want to flesh it out a bit?

Just a suggestion,
Brad

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