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Critical Analysis #1

Bad P

Joshua Garrett
Junior Member

since 2000-02-17

Posts 21

0 posted 2000-07-24 03:48 AM

Bad Poker Face
by Joshua Garrett

The dealer dealt the first of 5,
Within was no face,
And no ace,
So I folded.

The dealer dealt the next of 5,
Hoping to win,
Yet no face,
And no ace,
So I folded again.

The dealer then dealt the last of 5,
This is to be my last game,
And the only face is me smiling,
Looking up,
With an ace,
So I will take the ace,
And put the others back.

Dedicated to Samantha White

Brad
Member Ascendant

since 1999-08-20

Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea

1 posted 2000-07-25 05:24 PM

This was a little confusing for me. Poker as a metaphor for risk doesn't bother me but I don't think you've fully utilized the potential here. You have a nice twist in the last stanza (if a little jarring) but that smile bothers me. If you smile when you've got a good hand, you will most definitely lose money in poker.

In other words, I hope you rewrite this expanding the metaphor in more detail.

Just an opinion,
Brad

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