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Critical Analysis #1
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My Broken Heart
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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My Broken Heart |
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m3jay Junior Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 12 |
I will never forget the days we once had The days when you were everything to me My mind used to tell me we'd be together forever But now I realize that was all a big dream The feelings I have for you will never go I wish I could take back that one regretful day The day when I willingly let you slide from my arms Never did I think of the astonishing pain of regrets That I would once have to live through The sight of you in someone else's arms Makes my heart shatter into a million pieces I sometimes wonder if you still think of me Or if to you, I'm just a face in the crowd I wish so very much that one day we can have it all back But for now, I'll sit here silently Remembering all the memories we once shared Everyday my love grows much stronger Hoping that one day you will feel the same And put back the pieces of my broken heart. |
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| © Copyright 2000 m3jay - All Rights Reserved | |||
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roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
it's hard to write a really original love poem because you often find yourself using the same old cliches. one thing that i would try to avoid in this poem is the use of phrases that sound a little trite. using the line Makes my heart shatter into a million pieces it sort of depreciates the value of your pain. do you know what i mean by that? also, you want to give more of the story of how you lost your love. you only say you regret the day that you "willingly" let hime or her go. to me, having a story, or at least a dominant image or emotion in a poem really adds to it poetic value. good luck with it. |
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