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Critical Analysis #1
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Boy Band Syndrome
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Boy Band Syndrome |
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Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
She wraps her life around his notes and when he sings she echoes. She sips deep of his harmony - lets it fill her, complete her, lets it be Enough. She lives to kiss his poster before bed, upon waking, she's never tasted lips before but brims with rich imaginings - of his, mostly. those pinups paper the walls once blue, a rebel splash of color peeks out here and there His eyes peer down from everywhere and she pictures this paradise. But then, they solicit her obsession draped lushly over leather chairs in leather pants and leather coats black sizzle melting into black as they batt those long-lashed bedroom eyes on cue for the photographer. They've been exposed on miles of film. Their concert is coming. mother and daughter sleep on sidewalk for two nights, she palpitating at the thought of his proximity, She purging her pockets to claw back into her daughter's life. She aches to share it so deeply, forgetting how the clinging births a stronger need to push. The stage goes up, the girls file in all shrieking from the start. And when they spin their silky ballad she will sway in time, in tears, Seeing him seeing her, singing straight to her, Knowing they connected Swearing that from 20 rows away, spikes of light pricking him everywhere he saw an angel, sang "I love you" with the fullness of his soul, and meant it all for her. Things have shifted now. All anyone can say for sure is something's fitting out of joint. If they knew the propper questions to unlock the voice that knows she would tell them that the catch is this: She'd always let it be Enough, But she lets it now be All. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Elyse Wilcock - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Forrest Cain Member
since 2000-04-21
Posts 306Chas.,W.V. USA |
Very good theme sprinkled with small sad truisms and the anticipation of the wonder to come and remember. And it may turn out the time waiting on the sidewalk turns out to be the more precious memories. Very nice and teenageish and I envy your youthful enthusiasm Glad to see the younger version of the beautiful Elyse.You do wonderful. your biggest fan luv forrest |
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eldridgejackson Member
since 2000-04-30
Posts 91 |
Very nice poem I can relate to the part where the Mom wants to get in good with her daughter. I think you meant proper in the last refrain. Or maybe pooper. But no such word as propper. You have been hanging around with Forrest to much and his poor spelling has rubbed off on you. James Cain aka Forrest's brother who unlike Forrest uses a spell checker. |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
~Elyse~ Very well said! Isn't it a shame how so many become overly obsessed with the "image?" Very creative poem, I see that you put a lot of thought into it's imagery and unique lines.  Take care, Melissa Honeybee The beauty of poetry gives me wings to fly |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
"She wraps her life around his notes" with an opening line like that there really can't be too much wrong with this poem elyse .. i'll try and get back to this later, but right now i'll just say very well done..... philip oh and the Cain/Abel Show is hilarious btw .. keep it up you two  |
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mysticharm Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 189Canada |
Hi Elyse wow...when did you visit my daughter's bedrooms lol you have it down to a tee...excellent poem, both my daughters have nothing but the backstreet boys, insync, LFO, 98 degrees and others all over their walls and ceiling like wallpaper. "Their concert is coming. mother and daughter sleep on sidewalk for two nights, she palpitating at the thought of his proximity, She purging her pockets to claw back into her daughter's life. She aches to share it so deeply, forgetting how the clinging births a stronger need to push." ...now here is where we differ, I just went through this scenario with my daughters sleep didn't play any and I do mean 'any' part in the 41 hour ordeal..talk about nightmare... after the first 10 hours the palpitating stopped and the drooling began, I was afraid they were going to start foaming at the mouths lol... I purged my pockets so I could get the hell home...trust me on this Elyse, I would rather give birth 5 more times then go through that again LOL..at least in birth you have the option of drugs  The rest of your poem holds true in every word but of course keep in mind this was just my experience and not something I care to experience again LOL. Great write. debbie Never underestimate the Power of Purpose. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the 'Present' unkn |
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Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
wow, thanx everyone! forrest - please dont say you think i have Nsync all over my walls, you know better than that. im a metal head. james - i think you're right, tell your bro to keep his mispelling cooties away from me! melissa - less thought than you might think, actually. i use my ouija board to write most of my poems. surprising how they always seem to make sense philip - they are pretty funny, arent they debbie - oh my god, i feel your pain debbie. what a good mom. i hope you brought ear plugs. i heard those concerts were insane. luckily, my obsessed friend couldnt get tickets, i promised to go with her if she could. my ears are very happy. luv Elyse |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
OMGGG ..all this brings back those immortal lines .... "Lurve me for a reason and let the reason be lurve ....." talk about multi-layered ... wow  P |
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Gonzalo Junior Member
since 2000-04-08
Posts 44MI |
As the father of two pree-teen daughters who are caught up in this craze, i really appreciated this one. Thanks for helping me understand why their mother would encourage this crap. I think it's sending them hundreds of wrong messages, but we all fail occassionally when trying to get closer to people we love (kids included). |
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Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
philip - they must not be that famous, cuz i've never heard them before gonzalo - hey, you shouldnt take my word for it, i dont really know anything. except maybe dont worry, they'll grow out of it. i remember my boy band - New Kids On the Block, we grew out of them. and hey, at least you're not the one who has to go to those concerts/screamfests luv Elyse |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Elyse ... you're kiddin'??!! .. tell me you're kiddin' .... and if you're truly not all i can say is WOW !!! .. and will you marry me ?..... ... oh no wait, i just thought .. the only explanation is that you must be an octogenarian ... the marriage offer is off ....lol...... ....... sorreeeeeeee!p |
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Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
pout pout. you oughtn't tease a girl like that. but you must remember, im only *just* legal to vote, so im often in the dark when you ag-ed ones make refrences pleeeeez fill me in, o wise one!luv Elyse |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Elyse: I liked this. A very well written poem. My company recently completed a hotel in Hershey, PA that sold out on the night Britney Spears was in concert ... I guess the Barby Bands get as much attention as the Boy Bands, doncha think? I'll try to get to this in more detail later (running out of my allotted online time). Good to hear that you are a metal head, btw. STP, Chili Peppers, Kid Rock, and Creed are my favorites (in that order). Be back later. Jim [This message has been edited by jbouder (edited 07-08-2000).] |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
I have to say I enjoyed this one as well. Two in a row -- that's gotta be some kind of record for me (no, wait there was a rather eniticing young woman named Haze, who used to do the same thing to me -- don't tell my wife. She lives to kiss his poster before bed, upon waking, she's never tasted lips before but brims with rich imaginings - of his, mostly. --I like the use of the dash here. Well done. But then, they solicit her obsession draped lushly over leather chairs in leather pants and leather coats black sizzle melting into black as they batt those long-lashed bedroom eyes on cue for the photographer. They've been exposed on miles of film. --I like 'exposed' here -- nice double play. Their concert is coming. mother and daughter sleep on sidewalk for two nights, she palpitating at the thought of his proximity, She purging her pockets to claw back into her daughter's life. She aches to share it so deeply, forgetting how the clinging births a stronger need to push. --This last line makes the poem for me. Very well done. Things have shifted now. All anyone can say for sure is something's fitting out of joint. If they knew the propper questions to unlock the voice that knows she would tell them that the catch is this: She'd always let it be Enough, But she lets it now be All. -- I don't get this last stanza: 'propper'? And the last two sentences confuse me. Don't suppose you could enlighten me. Brad |
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Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
jim - youve got excellent taste in music! although, you did leave off my all time fav. band, silverchair. but i forgive you. how long do you think Weiland will stay out of jail this time? ps, you dont want to start me ranting about Brittney Spears. just trust me brad - i was proud of those lines too. i thought i had the double play worked out pretty good. durnit! i thought i had corrected that "proper" thing when james pointed it out. im going crazy. oh, and on the last two lines, i am hinting at the fact that while she was certainly obsessed before, perhaps it was a little controlled, but now, its just taken over everything. luv ya, Elyse |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
if you're winding me up elyse i'll come over there and ... and ... er well dunno what i'll do exactly .. but i'll think of something lingering and painful on the flight over ... BOYZONE !!! (sp?) no? p [This message has been edited by Poertree (edited 07-09-2000).] |
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Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
what is this BOYZONE of which you speak? i know nothing of this BOYZONE. E (seriously, i dont) |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
I forgot ... you're a heathen American .. ... all is forgiven p |
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