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Forrest Cain
Member
since 2000-04-21
Posts 306
Chas.,W.V. USA

0 posted 2000-06-23 05:07 PM


we`ve had miracles
a time of coverless comic books
and homemade Christmas ornaments
and magical mornings of brand new bicycles
and banana nut bread and fruit salad
and sleigh rides down winding hills
of whitest snow, chasing the ridge
past moon-shadowed trees.

we`ve had miracles
sliding on cardboard down hills of green
and flying June bugs, on threaded legs
against bluest skies, the
sun warm on our upturned faces
and we`ve dammed the small stream
that flows from rock spring, until
the water backed up and flooded the road.

we`ve had miracles
"From the shores of Gitche Gumme
to the shining big sea water."
papier-mache opossums and baseball games
that lasted till dark or the ball was lost
in the weeds or over the hill.
and icy glasses of "Kool-aid Kool-aid
tastes great."

we`ve had miracles
last days of school and grapevine swings
and cabins in the woods
we`ve played in the warm summer rain
until nearing thunder and flashes of lightening hurried us home
and we`ve held jars of light as we chased
the flickering firefly through the darkening night.

we`ve had miracles
dad singing the Hawaiian war chant
and playing the harmonica
and laughter as he danced the Korean
foot-rot two step shuffle
and tall glasses of sweet milk with
cornbread and sugar
and Sunday nights with little Joe and Hoss
and Marlon  Perkins
and Saturday morning cartoons
with Elmer and Bugs and beep-beep
the Road runner.

we`ve had miracles
family reunions at grandma`s
and tall tales of giant catfish
and ferocious bears
and how the last werewolf was killed
shot through the heart by a silver bullet
in New Mexico by Uncle Joe.
and faster than a speeding bullet
able to leap tall buildings at a single bound
our hero`s
Superman and Popeye and Mighty Mouse
and Dad and Ernest and Uncle Chan
"Here they come to
save the day."

we`ve had miracles
one potato, two potato, three potato, four
and one- two- three on Bobby or James or me
go-sheepy-go
ready or not here I come.
and we`ve cracked hickory nuts
and picked blackberries
until distant shouts called us home
to cobbler pies and Mom`s blue eyes
smiling down at our berried mouths.

we`ve had miracles
we`ve sang the songs
and lived the dreams
and felt the lightly rain
and wind in our hair
we`ve tramped the hills
and fought the fights
and together stood
side by side
undaunted - unafraid
come what may
we`ve had miracles.  

Part one of the poem
"The Long Road Home."

forrest cain
1999



[This message has been edited by Forrest Cain (edited 06-25-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 O. Forrest Cain - All Rights Reserved
Lighthousebob
Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725
California
1 posted 2000-06-24 01:33 AM


Forrest,

These are memories cerainly worth passing down to future generations.

Here are my suggestions: (courtesy of spell check.)

You might want to capitalize all the proper names like Christmas, June bugs, Sunday, Saturday, Elmer, Bugs, Roadrunner, Superman, Popeye, Mighty Mouse, and even Dad if you like.

Some typos that I found are opossums, till, Hawaiian, and the first potato.

I think you might want undaunted for undaughted?

Forrest, does any of your computer software have spell check?  I am like you, I can't spell worth beans and potatatos... but with spell check, I just push a button and all my spelling errors are corrected.  So, don't think I'm smart... I just took your poem and plugged it into spell check.  Just a suggestion.

Bob <><

Forrest Cain
Member
since 2000-04-21
Posts 306
Chas.,W.V. USA
2 posted 2000-06-24 04:47 AM


Lighthousebob thank you for taking the time to read this rather lengthy poem(and this is only the first half) about times me and my brother, (Eldridge Jackson) spent together
growing up. Thanks for correcting my spelling errors. I`m sure I have spell check
and can find it everywhere but this forum.
I`ll probablly finish the second less than pleasant part of this tomorrow or Sunday.

Enjoy your material
and thanks for the comments
I`ll try to refrain from bad jokes
in the future but no guarantee`s.

Your friend forrest

Tim Gouldthorp
Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 170

3 posted 2000-06-24 06:48 AM


Well Forrest,
I think your poem clearly expresses the 'miracle' (a good description) of your childhood experiences.  Many of these experiences seem personal to you and might better be understood by someone who knows about them, but the underlying experience behind these instances I think is pretty much universal.  I don't know where your going with this poem but perhaps you you might connect the miraculous experiences you describe in some way to your present life.  Just a suggestion.  Good work anyway.
-Tim

eldridgejackson
Member
since 2000-04-30
Posts 91

4 posted 2000-06-24 07:41 AM


My favorite poem. I was there it was exactly like that. Of course you should have put more about your wonderful brother in the poem. To give it more class.
     You need to fire up your word processing program. Write your poem there hit spell checker. Then hit select all then copy and then post it here. It will save you time.

Of course the part about Gitchie Gummie the poem Hiawatha that we had to memorize as children was really not all that pleasant or miraculous.

I think to get the effect of this poem one has to hear the entire thing. I like the flow. It is long but it hooked me and kept me reading the first time I read it.

I think younger folks under 35 would be hard pressed to relate to a lot of the miracles.

Good write but you failed to mention the visit of the monkey to Mt. Ovas and how it pooped on the Principal (I thought that was a very important comment on our early education)

James aka eldrigejackson

Forrest Cain
Member
since 2000-04-21
Posts 306
Chas.,W.V. USA
5 posted 2000-06-24 02:35 PM


Tim thanks for your comments. Yes I`m taking this poem a little further. Initially it was written for my brother at a down time in my life when I was diagnosed with hepatitis C
and thought I was not long for the world.
(Bad information as it turns out, at least for me) but my brother and I survived/lived much together and it was therapeutic to
write .
The Long Road Home encompasses the miracles as well as the  horrors of being raised in an alcoholic family. Our Mother has a disease
called Lupus and would exhibit very scary behavior for small children at times.
see "We Need Miracles."

warmhrt
Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563

6 posted 2000-06-24 10:07 PM


Forrest,

I'm a big believer in writing as therapy, and it is evident here that it seemed to help you. When someone is faced with a life-changing crisis, often memories of good (and bad) times can come flooding back. This says a great deal about your relationship with your brother...both of you should feel very lucky to have each other, your memories, and your miracles.

Kris

the poet's pen...gives to airy nothing
A local habitation and a name ~ Shakespeare


Elyse
Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414
Apex (think raleigh) NC
7 posted 2000-06-25 04:12 AM


hi forrest!  i liked the way this sounds like inside jokes, (even tho, as yer bro said, im too young for many) with the quick refrences and such.  its very much a picture of life as you lived it.  still, i dont like the repetition of "we've had miracles" on every stanza.  i think its the meter of it.  see how most of the stanzas it's attached to have longer lines?  id keep it on the first, last, and "familiy reunion" ones definitely.  you could sprinkle in a few more, even if you did it every other stanza that'd  be good too.  to get specific...

id cut the "and" from the beginning of lines 4 and 5. you got a little and happy there.  dont worry, it happens to everyone  .  actually, you might consider snipping the ands from the fronts of more lines, or in other places where its not strictly needed.  

you can take out pronouns sometimes, example: "our upturned faces"  becomes just "upturned faces" or even "faces upturned".  

also, i notice alot of "the"s some of those can come out if ya want

and i think you say have sung.

thats all i got  
luv Elyse

Forrest Cain
Member
since 2000-04-21
Posts 306
Chas.,W.V. USA
8 posted 2000-06-25 09:34 AM


Good advice Elyse I will follow most of these suggestions. But not now I`m to tired.
I`m going to start writing skinnier poems
in the future. I`m just working you to hard.
You are one of a kind.

luv forrest

mysticharm
Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 189
Canada
9 posted 2000-06-27 01:41 PM


This is GREAT Forrest.

I like your trip, there are a lot of miracles and memories I had forgotten. Fishing with my brothers, Grandma's banana nut bread, oh my gosh I had forgotten the game one potato, two potato...

We are both very lucky  

lighthousebob, where do you see an error in one potato...now, first potato is wrong, maybe you should spell check your spell check, just a suggestion.

I have to ask you, what is a papier-mache opossums?< !signature-->

Never underestimate the Power of Purpose.
Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift.
That's why it's called the 'Present'
unkn


[This message has been edited by mysticharm (edited 06-27-2000).]

Forrest Cain
Member
since 2000-04-21
Posts 306
Chas.,W.V. USA
10 posted 2000-06-27 08:15 PM


Mysticharm thanks for your very kind words.
In defence of lighthousebob I corrected this probably before you read it. And papier-mache oppossums are made from coat hangers , flour paste and old newspaper. Part of our
Hiawatha project.

Your friend forrest

mysticharm
Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 189
Canada
11 posted 2000-06-28 01:08 PM


Hi Forrest

I remember doing paper mache in school, they were fun to do  

My apologies lighthousebob   just call me mrs.potatohead < !signature-->

Never underestimate the Power of Purpose.
Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift.
That's why it's called the 'Present'
unkn


[This message has been edited by mysticharm (edited 06-29-2000).]

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