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Critical Analysis #1
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Oh No Mat Toe Poetic! (Nans Workshop)
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Oh No Mat Toe Poetic! (Nans Workshop) |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
Still too new to know what to do! Is it okay to post poems that I am working on in the poetry workshop in this forum? I think I did it once before. I am not sure if the idea is to learn new techniques there and post them somewhere else for replies? The poetry workshop doesn't seem to be used that often. Is this onomatopoeia? Thanks! Surrounded by the din and clatter, my pounding heart will surely shatter, unless I find out what’s the matter, with my blasted day. Slowly down the streets I stumble, very timid, meek and humble, listening to the city rumble, much to my dismay. Stomping boots and high-heeled clickers, greeting me with shrieks and snickers, crowd the walk to gawk and bicker, all along the way. Incessant noises always clashing, pampered freaks in cars are crashing, horns are honking, fists are bashing, and nerves begin to fray. I know that there are better places, pleasant, gentle, kinder faces, and in the hush of open spaces, I will be okay. No more grating pitter-patter, mumble jumble blither blather, hoo-doo, yoo-hoo, chitter-chatter, to take my mind away. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Deborah L. Carter - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Yes, you can post this here and, yes, some of this is indeed onomatopoeia, particularly the last stanza. The term itself is open to a wide amount of variation so one, I suppose, might argue that the whole poem is one sound mimicing smorgasboard. My problem with the poem, however, is the turn. You have one but I don't have the faintest idea why? I don't think you give the reader enough information to get a clear picture of that last stanza. It's too quick. Just an opinion, Brad |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
Brad thanks for your reply! I wasn't sure if this type of poem was supposed to be made up of silly sounding words like in the last stanza or words that make sounds. The turn you describe, do you mean a turning point in the poem? I do think I ended it quickly! I was attempting to describe life in a city, annoying noises and people. Leaving town. Maybe It would sound better if wrote more just before the last stanza? Or maybe I'll just try another one later! Thanks again! Debbie |
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