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Critical Analysis #1

Greatest Disguise

rainbow_sunflower
New Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 5

0 posted 2000-06-01 03:52 AM

This is the first poem i've posted here. I'm 14, though i have been writing poems for as long as i can seem to remember. Please give me your opinion, and any suggestions which you think my might help would be greatly appreciated!
-----GReatest Disguise-----

Fake smiles,
denial,
sadness in disguise,
hatefull minds,
sarcastic laugh,
fear coverd lies,
not yourself
you poser,
fake love,
and fake life,
sucidal, masochistic lifestyle,
secret pains and strife,
a prediciment,
false secruity,
unworthy, truthful lies,
bad thoughts,
sick thoughts,
the reasons you can't cry,
no real friends,
guess your lonely,
not trust,
no one tries,
it's not chaos,
just happiness in disguise.

THanks for reading.!

Jana Tovey
Member

since 2000-05-30

Posts 257
USA

1 posted 2000-06-01 11:45 AM

I like the use of oxymorons throughout the poem. They make you wonder about the person(or persons) being described. The ending has me puzzled, though, because you've described someone who is sick, lonely, suicidal, etc.., and then you proclaim the sum of all these things as happiness in disguise.

You like words, I can see this in your poem. Right now you want to fling them about, and that's good because it's how you get to know them well (like old friends). Words are exciting, powerful. As you write more and more you will become more discerning of how you apply and position particular words within your phrases.

I think your poem is good, you have alot of talent. I look forward to reading more of your work.

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