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WTVamp
Junior Member

since 2000-05-01

Posts 18
Salem, OR, US

0 posted 2000-05-16 06:18 PM

They lied in bed together,
on one of those nights that seemed to last forever.
It would be fifty years tomorrow,
fifty years since they walked down the aisle.

So she turned and looked at the elder man,
"It's been so long and I still love you, " she said,

                            "And I as well," Said the elder man.

                            He smiled at her calmly.
                           "Remember the nights in youth,
                            when you were young,
                            and I was gone,
                            discovering a world we never knew?

                            It was during that time I was thinking of you.  "

"But honey, " she laughed softly,
"during that time I didn't know you.
I was but a child,
and you had already left me.  "

                            "Are you sure?  " the man frowned,
                            "I still remember,
                            in every waking dream,
                            the beauty of your kiss,
                            the softness of your touch,
                            and it meant so very much.

She stretched her fingers and grasped his withered hand,
and held it softly,
as she tried to make him comprehend,
"The memories, " she whispered,
"They are your own creations,
emotions that you felt,
built out of your own frustrations.  "

                            The old man laughed at his confused wife,
                            "Perhaps, " he said,
                            "or perhaps I've loved you my entire life,
                            even in those times I hadn't known,
                            the beautiful girl I would call my own,
                            I saw your face in the back of my mind,
                            a beautiful child,
                            who would someday become my wife,
                            but when I could never tell,
                            I just prayed you would someday be real.
                            I didn't know you and still I loved you, " he said.

She laughed at him,
"And I as well, you silly old man.  "

whipsnade
Junior Member

since 2000-02-28

Posts 40

1 posted 2000-05-23 12:09 PM

  WTvamp,,just got back on line myself and found your very fine tribute to a life of love and fidelity.As a military retiree married for  44 yrs I/We ,,relate  very strongly to your evocative memoir.Not being an expert on poetic forms and formats, I hesitate to critique this work and hope that
others {very competent} in the forum will  do so. hope to hear more from you.
        Thanks,,,   Ricardo

Seoulman
Junior Member

since 2000-05-24

Posts 41

2 posted 2000-05-24 03:22 AM

Hi WTVamp, just read your poem. I thought the first two stanzas began with many cliches however the predictability began to turn with fine images of old age and its connotations(forgetfulness, so on), so I enjoyed the last part.
Good luck!

redshoes
Junior Member

since 2000-05-22

Posts 12
Massachusetts

3 posted 2000-05-25 06:23 PM

Great job! It is very prose like, I like the stroy line feel to it. Nicely written and visually presented. --Red

spirit4
New Member

since 2000-05-25

Posts 3

4 posted 2000-05-25 06:49 PM

I love it!!! It is something that everyone can relate to. It is simply perfect!!!! Thank you for writing it, it diplays my emotions almost exactly.

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