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Critical Analysis #1
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Grace
Junior Member
since 2000-04-30
Posts 19


0 posted 2000-05-15 04:15 PM




With Love To My Daughter

Daughters are special,
But that's nothing new,
Except when that daughter,
My dear is you.
You're very special and
Always will be,`cause
You're my daughter and
That's special to me!


  M.G.M.  5/14/00  
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[This message has been edited by Grace (edited 06-03-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Mary Grace - All Rights Reserved
Kirk T Walker
Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 357
Liberty, MO
1 posted 2000-05-15 05:55 PM


Grace,
Nicely done.  Very sweet thought behind it.  My only suggestion is to add punctuation:

With Love To My Daughter

Daughters are special,
But that's nothing new,
Except when that daughter,
My dear, is you.
You're very special and
Always will be, 'cause
You're my daughter and
Thats special to me!


Kirk T Walker


 Disclaimer: The preceding statement is just my opinion.


jbouder
Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534
Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash
2 posted 2000-05-16 04:43 PM


Hello, Grace.  Welcome to CA.  As a note to your daughter, I echo Kirk's praises.  As a reader who neither knows you nor your daughter, your use of general language didn't paint a picture of the two of you for me.  If you want to broaden the audience a bit I would suggest moving from the general to the particular about your daughter.  The sincerity shines through, however, and I think your poem adequately serves the purpose for which it was intended.

I look forward to reading more of your poetry, Grace.  Thanks for posting.

Jim

Grace
Junior Member
since 2000-04-30
Posts 19

3 posted 2000-05-16 07:03 PM



Thanks Jim and Kirk,for taking the time to view my poetry.It's very rewarding
to have feedback.I'll keep trying maybe i'll get it yet. Thanks guys!!!!
Grace

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