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Passions in Poetry

Roadkill (because what better topic is there for poetry?)

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Kirk T Walker
Member
since 01-13-2000
Posts 371
Liberty, MO


0 posted 05-15-2000 03:57 PM       View Profile for Kirk T Walker   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Kirk T Walker

Roadkill
by Kirk T Walker

You lie in the sun  
Burnt and black.  
You started across,  
But got knocked back.
Perhaps you were near
To the otherside,
But stopped to boast
And then you died.  
Its hard to tell by
Just the track
Of a big trucktire
Across your back.
Was it bravery
That finally led
Your furry mass
To this bloodshed?
Was it your lack of
Aptitude
That led to your fate
As vulture's food?
Alas, you won't tell
Why you have bled,
But, lie in the heat
Rotting, dead.




[This message has been edited by Kirk T Walker (edited 05-16-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Kirk T Walker - All Rights Reserved
Elyse
Member
since 04-16-2000
Posts 419
Apex (think raleigh) NC


1 posted 05-15-2000 06:49 PM       View Profile for Elyse   Email Elyse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elyse

this reminds me of Shel Silverstein.  ('ceptin this is a little more morbid  )
seriously tho, if you mebbe lightened it up a teeny bit, it'd be great  
luv Elyse




 Do I contradict myself?
Very well then . . . . I contradict myself;
I am large . . . . I contain multitudes.
-Papa Walt
warmhrt
Senior Member
since 12-18-1999
Posts 1566


2 posted 05-15-2000 11:50 PM       View Profile for warmhrt   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for warmhrt

Yuuuuuckckckck! Morbid isn't the word for it! Just the images, Kirk, not your words which created those images. You did a wonderful job with that, but somehow I wish it wouldn't have been quite so well-done. Every time I pass an animal that's been hit on the road, I turn away...can't look. I feel so sorry for them. If they were someone's pet, a dog or cat, then I really feel bad...for the animal and the owner. I think I'm rambling, so I'll just say...nice work...not a nice subject.

Kris

 the poet's pen...gives to airy nothing
A local habitation and a name ~ Shakespeare


[This message has been edited by warmhrt (edited 05-15-2000).]
Brad
Member Ascendant
since 08-20-99
Posts 5896
Jejudo, South Korea


3 posted 05-16-2000 04:01 AM       View Profile for Brad   Email Brad   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Brad

Kirk,

This was fun to read.  My only suggestion would be to try to give the ending some punch or some twist. We already know it's dead.

Brad
Robin
Junior Member
since 08-07-99
Posts 48
Cardiff, Wales, UK


4 posted 05-16-2000 08:16 AM       View Profile for Robin   Email Robin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Robin

Veryyyy Nice. I like the question raised about the reason for the death. They always seem so meaningless don't they?
Well done

Robin
Kirk T Walker
Member
since 01-13-2000
Posts 371
Liberty, MO


5 posted 05-16-2000 01:41 PM       View Profile for Kirk T Walker   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kirk T Walker

Thanks for the comments.  This poem is just one of many which were inspired while commuting to and from college. When you drive an hour there and an hour back you have a lot of time to think, observe things, and, yes, even contemplate the sigifigance of rotting carcasses.  My empathy for these creatures is sincere, however, I thought it best to keep the poem light and humorous.

Elyse:  I have read Silverstien ever since I got a copy of Where The Sidewalk Ends as a child. I have read it cover to cover many many times.  I guess it is creeping into my style a little.  I'm not sure how I could get much lighter, especially considering my subject is carrion.  Thanks for the comments.

Kris:  Thanks for reading it and commenting despite the "yuckiness".  I feel the same way about the road kill, but when you drive as much as I do (and on country highways) there is a lot of it.  Despite the light take on the gory subject, I really do feel sorry for them.  

Brad:  I'm glad it was fun.  Thanks for the suggestion.

Robin:  Thanks for your comments.  Yes, their deaths do seem rather pointless.  I wonder if natural selection will help decrease roadkill over time?
netswan
Senior Member
since 03-28-2000
Posts 1395
Washington


6 posted 05-16-2000 10:07 PM       View Profile for netswan   Email netswan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit netswan's Home Page   View IP for netswan

Morbid Subject, I would have liked to have seen a deeper meaning for putting me through
the pain of dead things. --)

We humans - are the total cause of this
problem. Without our cars - those little
guys may have been survivors.  

Mankind has caused this ----we are the only
creatures that destroy natural selection.

Without us, there would be no road kill --(

I would have loved to see an ending with'
a solution to the pioneering animals trying
to get to the other side of the road against
our metal dinosaurs.

But, alas I found a dead thing.

The poem has rhythm and great imagery,
sob ---

netswan
netswan

Kirk T Walker
Member
since 01-13-2000
Posts 371
Liberty, MO


7 posted 05-19-2000 03:37 PM       View Profile for Kirk T Walker   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kirk T Walker

netswan:  

Sorry, I took so long to respond to your comments.  I really wanted this poem to be mostly for fun, I'm afraid a deeper meaning would have a tacked on effect unless I rewrote the entire poem with a different style and from a different perspective.  

I'm not sure that I could make a meaningful poem indicating that roadkill is a byproduct of technology or the automobile industry, etc.  

I don't really think that humans "destory" natural selection, althought I think we play a role in it.  What I meant by natural selection in my earlier comment was that, perhpas, over time animals whose instincts   tell them not to cross the roads or to do it quickly, etc. would have their genes passed on and nature would fix part of the problem.  

In response to your comment, "But alas I found a dead thing." I must respond "Yes!" That was sort of the point.  Roadkill just is. I'm sorry if I disappointed you with my lack of roadkill romance, but I'm glad that you commented on my poem anyway.  Thanks again for the comments!  


Kirk T Walker

ashley
Junior Member
since 10-31-2002
Posts 10
U.S.


8 posted 10-31-2002 01:35 PM       View Profile for ashley   Email ashley   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ashley


Very good use of imagery. This shows the humerous side of poetry. Yet if an animal activist found this offensive you could be sued.
 
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