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Critical Analysis #1
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brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland

0 posted 2000-05-14 02:32 PM


This is a poem I wrote not quite sure what it was about. I just had the image of a dolls tea party,I have re-worked it a few times, making it flow better this my last draft. I am just wondering does it make sense? does it engage you or seem like an indulgent abstract poem filled with surreal images. Basically does it have any merit as a poem.    


==================================
Table Ethics

The dolls have their eyes kept closed
in revolt to their  own commodity.
They sit in the shade of a great oak
where infants dare not venture.
I move through this scene of
illuminated childhood dreams
to be seated with my three hosts.
The garden, where we dine, is painted
with images of disarming scenery and still-life.

My first host, personified beauty, speaks to me.
"The desert is so elegant but it occupies
your thoughts as an obsession.
Many a wise man have died in her affections".
My second host gazes into my eyes.
She is the balance of the universe
all the threads of life run through her veins.
She speaks with the flicker of her eyelashes.

She wastes no effort in speech for
her mouth has been sown shut.
I never understand why. It is believed
that she has too many secrets to keep.
It seems to me a terrible crime to be silenced
for the sins that man fears confessed.
My third host never makes a gesture
through out, content in a coma,
she is spared the folly of involvement.

We finish with tea, as the first
licks the coffee from the cream.
Our eyes meet, in difficult stares, it is not
my fashion to communicate as such
so I remain mute. Nervousness strangles
as I stumble head long on the lawn in a mess
trimmed plastic grass carpet and deckchairs.

We all fall down meeting in daisy rings;
the Hosts at my side. The second gestures
for me to free her from her constraints,
I comply in politeness, she squeals
in agony  falling onto me to swallow greedily.
I lie back stunned and wonder how I went
from civil company to oral defilement.



[This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 05-14-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 brian madden - All Rights Reserved
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navwin » Archives » Critical Analysis #1 » Table Ethics. suggestions, does it make sense?

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