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navwin » Archives » Critical Analysis #1 » Wanting you...
Critical Analysis #1
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sKiTtLeS
Member
since 2000-04-12
Posts 113
wisconsin, u.s.a.
0 posted 2000-05-03 05:30 PM


Wanting you, but not needing heartache.
Needing you, but not wanting the hurt.
Searching your soul with all that I am,
Only to find hidden secrets.

Loving you, but not receiving affection.
Hurting me, and you don't even know.
Breaking what is left of my ravaged heart,
There is nothing I can do.

 sKiTtLeS~
© Copyright 2000 Brighton Zynda - All Rights Reserved
camellia
New Member
since 2000-05-03
Posts 5
1 posted 2000-05-04 12:27 PM

boy can i relate to this poem. i liked it very much. you express your feelings well.

camellia
Kirk T Walker
Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 357
Liberty, MO
2 posted 2000-05-04 04:52 PM

Nice poem.  I think this is something we all can relate to somewhat.  The only suggestions I have are that you might be a little more specific on  certain ideas or provide more descrpition, imagery, etc.  For example:

heartache, hurt, hidden secrets, how are they hurting you, etc.
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navwin » Archives » Critical Analysis #1 » Wanting you...

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