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For Clifford
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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For Clifford |
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Kirsty24 Junior Member
since 2000-03-24
Posts 40Australia |
~~~For Clifford~~~ Why do we do it?? We always get hurt in the end But feelings go on And so does life..... With or wothout you This time it's without you We sort of agreed But without consultation I still like you...... Maybe Even love you..... But it could never be fixed Unfotunatly Some of your last words were the ones that hurt the most We had fun.... Most of the time Fights happen in The best of relationships The best..... That was you.. That is you And always will be I will never forget you never But someone will come along And I will love them Maybe... But never as much as I loved you The time spent was great And sometimes wonderful But it's over... For good or bad But I think it's for good So Goodbye |
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| © Copyright 2000 Kirsty O'Hara - All Rights Reserved | |||
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Kirsty: I think you have a good outline for a poem here but you need to flesh it out. I know the poem is for someone named Clifford, that there was a breakup, some regret and feelings of loss, some fun times, some fights, hope for a better future and a goodbye but I am left knowing nothing about Clifford, no insight into the reasons for the breakup, no concrete pictures of the good times you shared with him or of the fights or what exactly it is about him that you will remember. I suggest that you personalize this one more ... give the reader some of the same images that are evoked in your head by reading this. This is the best way to empower the reader to feel something along the lines of what you felt and think the thoughts you thought. Just some suggestions. Jim |
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