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Critical Analysis #1
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Marq
Member
since 1999-10-18
Posts 222


0 posted 2000-04-22 04:29 PM


Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale....

Why the hell did those seven stranded castaways
keep trying to get off that island
when it was all we could do to refrain
from jumping through our TV sets to join them?

Ginger...
Mary Ann...
especially Mary Ann....

Skipper, you jolly good bulkhead of a man,
take command of this island vessel and cease
immediately these ridiculous rescue attempts.

Professor, put your smarts to greater inventions
like how to win over Ginger... or Mary Ann...
especially Mary Ann....

Mr. Howell, you can have your Lovey
for a little less money... here on Gilligan's
Island....  I'll buy that....

Coconut cream pies... softly swaying hammocks...
fishing in the lagoon... oh, that remarkable
lagoon...  and, of course, the mysterious
other side of the island....

Gilligan, little buddy...
the weather doesn't seem so rough
for you and the other stranded castaways
on that uncharted desert island --
despite your flawless record of rescue failures.
Or for the rest of us who watch and wish
that we too could take the Minnow
on an unfinished three hour tour.


© Copyright 2000 Marq - All Rights Reserved
Forrest Cain
Member
since 2000-04-21
Posts 306
Chas.,W.V. USA
1 posted 2000-04-22 05:02 PM


Nice poem and original. I enjoyed it and
agree it would be nice to crawl through
the TV screen to a kinder world.
Look forward to more.

Elyse
Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414
Apex (think raleigh) NC
2 posted 2000-04-22 10:37 PM


I really dig this   I cant even explain it really, it flows well (im always harping on that, dont worry, you'll get used to it   ) i just like it.  nice job!
luv Elyse

warmhrt
Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563

3 posted 2000-04-23 12:26 PM


Marq,

What does this play on now...Nickelodean? Anyway, this was entertaining to read, and brought back some memories.

The writing and format were good. I especially liked the line, "Skipper, you jolly good bulkhead of a man,". I liked the last three lines, too...wrapped it up nicely.

I see someone had quite a crush on Mary Ann, hmmm? Nice work, Marq,

Kris


 the poet's pen...gives to airy nothing
A local habitation and a name ~ Shakespeare

bboog
Member
since 2000-02-29
Posts 303
Valencia, California
4 posted 2000-04-24 05:57 PM


M~
Yeah who didn't have a crush on Mary Ann? My first impression on this poem was that it might work best as a rhyming poem. Read a poem by Balladeer in the Open section.  However to do the rhyming thing right, it might involve watching several episodes and trying to bring us back to their lame rescue attempts.
   As it stands now (a free verse poem) I think you might want to bring a little more imagery of Mary Ann into it and possibly end it with your repeated lines:
Ginger...
Mary Ann...
especially Mary Ann...
Just a thought.
best regards,
bboog

jbouder
Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534
Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash
5 posted 2000-04-24 08:42 PM


Marq:

I'd have to add myself to two lists: first, to the list of those who enjoyed the poem and second, to the list of those who had a maddening crush on Mary Ann.  

I agree with Bob (bboog) that the poem would be strengthened by reeling this one into a rhyme scheme.  It would be an added bonus to be able to sing your verse to the Gillagan's Island theme song.      I also liked the Skipper/bulkhead line.

I suppose if I there was anything I didn't like, it was the heavy reliance on allusion to the show.  I guess the subject demands a good bit of "filling in the gaps" by the reader but I found myself relying more on my memory of the show than on the images your words, standing alone, evoked.  

But even with the heavy use of allusion, I enjoyed the read.  Thanks for posting it.

Jim

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