navwin » Archives » Critical Analysis #1 » The Answer
Critical Analysis #1
Post A Reply Post New Topic The Answer Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
warmhrt
Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563


0 posted 2000-04-21 10:16 AM


a rubik's cube in motion,
changing sides,
switching colors,
manipulating, pulling strings,
a chameleon ever morphing,
speaking varied tongues.

contriving,
a manifestation,
carefully built,
with no revealing cracks
to allow for light,
nor glaring clues
that lead to conclusions.

yet letting go of reason,
using instinct as a guide,
the answer is revealed,
with release of thoughts,
and all emotion,
intuition given vision.

it sits now, so still,
a solid square,
sides of even colors,
no longer a twisting enigma,
but truth
confirmed.


Kristine
< !signature-->

 the poet's pen...gives to airy nothing
A local habitation and a name ~ Shakespeare




[This message has been edited by warmhrt (edited 04-21-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 warmhrt - All Rights Reserved
Ted Reynolds
Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 331

1 posted 2000-04-21 12:18 PM


Very nice indeed, Kristine.  Your words (and their meanings) twist around and pass each other, with a flashing, confusing quality like the cube itself.  

If truth is like the solved cube by the way, we'd better not leave any truth we may have . . . or we may never get back to it for ages.

My only suggestion is to remove "twisted enigma" from the last stanza (you can use it earlier.)  All the other ending words are still and four-square.  I don't think you want even the reminder of confusion that it's NOT confused any longer.  (Now THAT'S confused, but you'll understand.)



[This message has been edited by Ted Reynolds (edited 04-21-2000).]

warmhrt
Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563

2 posted 2000-04-21 12:53 PM


Ted,

Thank you so much...that's exactly the picture I hoped to present. You have such a poetic vision...an ability to see behind and around words (and you write pretty darn good, too!). I'll give your suggestion about the "twisting enigma" some serious thought...you are probably right.

Thanks again,
Kris

 the poet's pen...gives to airy nothing
A local habitation and a name ~ Shakespeare

tom
Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 90
s/w penna u.s.a.
3 posted 2000-04-21 01:25 PM


warmhrt
There are two truths in life,absolute and relative.With this poem you've done a very good job(with the rubik's cube imagery)on tackling the absolute or mathematical truth. The grape vine twisting of your words and their effects  was cool.
The only question I have is,(and I know this is a personality flaw I have...)
was the truth the question, in question,or not the question at all.

 I dreamed I was a dreamer in a dream



revolution
Junior Member
since 2000-04-17
Posts 20
atlanta, GA, USA
4 posted 2000-04-21 02:29 PM


wow... i very much like the analogy of solving a rubik's cube to achieving resolution in the quest for truth, and i find this poem excellently worded, brilliant.  

as i'm reading back through it, i find the line "allowing intuition its vision" a little awkward.... i think partly because the rhyming words are unbalanced in syllables... "bringing intuition to fruition" might solve the problem, if it really IS a problem.  it's actually rather hard to find weaknesses!  anyway, i enjoyed reading this.  

warmhrt
Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563

5 posted 2000-04-21 07:30 PM


Tom,

We are continually seeking truths, whether concrete or conceptual. I think when we stop seeking them is when we stop living. Thank you kindly for reading and commenting; especially for saying my writing was cool. I like that.


revolution,

Welcome to CA...you must be new...haven't come across this name before.

Thaks so much for your words of praise, and also for your suggestion. I will put it to some serious consideration.

Thanks again, both of you,
Kristine

 the poet's pen...gives to airy nothing
A local habitation and a name ~ Shakespeare

Elyse
Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414
Apex (think raleigh) NC
6 posted 2000-04-21 07:57 PM


hey Kris!  what and intriguing poem!  i love the way the words trip along bumping into each other, kinda acting out the motion of a rubix cube.  very cool.  the only thing i would say (since this IS CA) is that the last 2 lines of the 3rd stanza seem a little stilted flow-wise compared to the rest of the poem.  and the flow is great in your poem BTW smiles  
luv Elyse

Munda
Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands
7 posted 2000-04-21 08:22 PM


Kris you know I can't analyse LOL but I do know what I like and I love this ! (and I do envy you for writing such a great free verse !)
warmhrt
Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563

8 posted 2000-04-21 09:59 PM


Elyse,

Thanks so much for your comments. Another "cool"!!  Coool! BTW, I changed those lines. Hope they're better now.


Munda,

Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I envy YOUR sonnet writing ability. You're a natural. ~hugs~

Kris

 the poet's pen...gives to airy nothing
A local habitation and a name ~ Shakespeare

revolution
Junior Member
since 2000-04-17
Posts 20
atlanta, GA, USA
9 posted 2000-04-22 09:06 PM


thanks for the welcome, warmhrt--or do you prefer kris?

this board is so stimulating!  yes, i'm new and addicted already    i look forward to reading more of your poems, as the two that i've seen so far really were excellent.

 The land sustaining us seemed to hold firm
Only when we embraced it in extremis.
All I believe happened there was vision. --Seamus Heaney



warmhrt
Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563

10 posted 2000-04-23 12:40 PM


rev,

"Kris" is fine, and I'm sure that you will enjoy your stay here. You'll learn a great deal and probably make some friends. Watch out...very addicting.   Thanks for your kind comments.

Kris

 the poet's pen...gives to airy nothing
A local habitation and a name ~ Shakespeare

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Critical Analysis #1 » The Answer

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary