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Critical Analysis #1
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Fire! (This one may be too hot to handle!)
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Fire! (This one may be too hot to handle!) |
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Scarlet Lady Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 242Midwest 
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Fire Sparks of passion ignite A fever now hot as coals Desires that are steaming hot Rising from the cauldron within Fire that rages out of control Pulsating with heat that cannot be quenched Burning loins aching to explode Eyes reflecting a flame that burns white We dance amongst the flames Rising and falling with their crimson glow Moving rhythmically in sultry fashion Melting into this hot bath of love No extinguishing this fire now Atomic rumblings shake from our core Explosion of two that are now one Molded forever by this fire of desire! |
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| © Copyright 2000 Lynne - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
I don't see any particular problems with this poem although you might want it to go to the Adult forum if only because you might get a stronger response there -- if you want this switched, just e-mail me or tell me here. Honestly, erotica doesn't usually work for me (that said, I just read a short story by Haruki Murakami that did -- anybody else read him?). Um, I think you can expand the coal image further -- I was thinking of walking on hot coals and how that is now known to be scientically possible, a sort of playing with the devil kind of thing. Sorry but 'atomic rumblings' has just gotta go -- unless you were shooting for a comic piece. Just an opinion, Brad |
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Scarlet Lady Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 242Midwest |
Hello Brad!! Thank you for your candid and frank opinion. I figured the writing would come under "FIRE"!!! But I guess reading some of the other posts........especially of late (mostly discusions I have viewed)..... I figured there might be some open minds, since it was done under what I would consider a tasteful adult mindset!! But since I am "new" I will take to heart your advice and take this "sort of erotica?? to the other area's of your post. Yes, I might sound a little brash.....I guess it is because I felt this was and "open" forum that understood all aspects of humanity could express without offending in dignity. I am sorry if what I have written in adulthood has done so. I just felt the same fervor about passion, as any other issue we might write about!!!! Thank you for your consideration and rebuke. Illusion |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Uhh, What rebuke? |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Brad .. you just slay me .... rotflmao |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
It's no coincidence he's known as "The Ogre" Philip.  But, Illusion, don't feel rebuked. It's just that this forum is open to anyone and some of our members may be underage or for other reasons erotic stuff may not be really appropriate for them. Geez, I can't believe I'm defending Brad here. Pete What terms shall I find sufficiently simple in their sublimity -- sufficiently sublime in their simplicity -- for the mere enunciation of my theme? Edgar Allan Poe |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Yeah, Just call me Buffy.  |
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