»
Archives
»
Critical Analysis #1
»
(oh. the serenity of it all)
| Critical Analysis #1 |
|
(oh. the serenity of it all) |
|
|
rich-pa Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 317New Orleans, Louisiana |
i walked to the store -yesterday- sun shining. pretty girls smile. i laugh them off. neighborhood kid, asks for a five... i give it to him. old people sit, tell me hi. i wave. i reached the store, it was closed. how odd. i turned around and went home. |
||
| © Copyright 2000 rich cooper - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Tony Di Bart Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 160Toronto, Canada |
I absolutley love this kinda of poetry. Just a slice o'life. pretty girls smile. i laugh them off. I like this line Thanks Death makes angels of us all and gives us wings where we had shoulders smooth as raven claws Jim Morrison |
||
kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
hello there, just want to say i liked your poem--i like poems which offer shrewd observations on life..") though(it's just my poinion) i think this could be better if you offer some insights into the things you see eg,why are those old people sitting?what are they thinking of as they watch blankly at the people walking to and fro before them?why does the neighbourhood kid have to resort to asking you for money? etc etc i don't know--i am new to poetry and don't know much---that was just my heartfelt response") ciao n take care  |
||
|
rich-pa Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 317New Orleans, Louisiana |
your insight is apreciated but those details are totally irrelevant to what i was attempting to accomplish, why the old people are sitting or why the kid asks for money don't matter, besides that, why would the nartrator know that? oh well, thanks for the observations though rich-pa |
||
|
patchoulipumpkin Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 196Bermuda |
I really like this, i enjoy this type of writing, right from one's eyes. Its good..love to read more. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
