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Passions in Poetry

Enchantress

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paladin
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 08-05-2001
Posts 1294
Pensacola,Fl.


0 posted 08-10-2001 11:23 AM       View Profile for paladin   Email paladin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for paladin

I rode in a forest dark and deep
On an ancient path often hard to see
Night came quicly as I paused to sleep
Near a dying fire beside a fallen tree
At the edge of the embers feeble glow
appeard a vision in a long flowing gown
She was crowned with flame red hair
and green eyes of a graceful doe
Her gown was blue with a cloak of brown
She stood unmoving with her head held high
Warmth flowed over me as I gazed into her face
She begain to sing like a summer breeze sigh
I thought an enchantress in this lonely place
My warrior sense sent warning,beware,beware
I drew my sword and sprang qiuckly to my feet
Laughingly she said Sire do give a care
For your sword of iron I will surly defeat
swiftly my sword fell from my shaking hand
I stood there transfixed as if made of stone
She walked slowly over to where I stood
Like emeralds her green eyes shown
I know I can easily enchant you sire
Forever I would own you as my slave
I am no knight in need of a squire
A lover now is the only thing I crave
She melted into my eager willing arms
I hungerly drank from her moist honeyed lips
Now come and sleep with me and banish all fears
The morning came through with soft forest light
Alas,I found beside me slept no enchantress maid
Ah,only a dream a dream of false delight
A thing of my mind that loneliness has made
As I spurred my horse to leave this place
My eyes fell upon a a token given so rare
A warm breeze caressed my lips and face
On my glove was pinned a locket of red hair


[This message has been edited by paladin (edited 08-11-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Robert E. Jackson - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
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Member Empyrean
since 05-18-2001
Posts 29020
Gaia


1 posted 08-11-2001 06:52 PM       View Profile for Midnitesun   Email Midnitesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Midnitesun

What a fun one to read! In the second line, why not "an ancient path", also maybe "appeared a vision in a long gown that did flow"  ??? Just a couple of changes that may improve the rhyme scheme.
Midnitesun
Abby
Junior Member
since 08-12-2001
Posts 12
Texas


2 posted 08-12-2001 11:35 PM       View Profile for Abby   Email Abby   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Abby's Home Page   View IP for Abby

I loved this and as I read it, I could imagine the whole scene unfolding. Your imagery was wonderful and it read like a novel. Everyone has their own style that's what makes a person unique. I wouldn't change a thing.

Cheers!

[This message has been edited by Abby (edited 08-12-2001).]

MoonShadow
Senior Member
since 08-02-2001
Posts 956
Dark side of the Moon.


3 posted 08-13-2001 12:54 AM       View Profile for MoonShadow   Email MoonShadow   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for MoonShadow

Wonderful. Looks like a keeper "As Is".
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 08-14-2001
Posts 37801
Somewhere in time~


4 posted 08-14-2001 08:06 PM       View Profile for Enchantress   Email Enchantress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Enchantress

Exceptionately well written. But then, I wouldn't expect any less coming from you. I feel almost as though it were written for me...
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 08-14-2001
Posts 37801
Somewhere in time~


5 posted 01-31-2007 01:58 PM       View Profile for Enchantress   Email Enchantress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Enchantress

...

'I know you I walked with you..once upon a dream.'

Robert, dear Robert..I didn't know you had left us
for something greater up above.
I miss you more than ever
and I send you lots of love.

You will live on through your writing,
I only wish I'd known...
Your brother Ken let me know today..
and I just can't say good-bye..not yet.

So, I will read your poetry,
weep for what we all have lost.

And I shall never ever forget you.
For it was you who introduced me to Passions.

Of all the things in me that I could never be ...
Of the true kept hidden from view,
the best parts of my heart were the ones touched by you.

~Rest in peace, my gallant knight~

Your Enchantress
scorpio
Member Ascendant
since 10-02-2002
Posts 5709
right...there


6 posted 01-31-2007 02:30 PM       View Profile for scorpio   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for scorpio

Truly sad news.  Paladin's words disappeared from this site awhile ago.  I missed his insightful writting.  But I had no idea that he had passed away.  I will quietly remember him today...

believe in what your heart feels...

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


7 posted 01-31-2007 02:52 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal


Oh my ...
this news truly saddens my heart~

This poet ... who shared so much ...
though now gone from this earthly plain,
shall remain
forever
in my heart~

EnchantressMyFriend~
I did not know how you came to us ...
but I am forever in thankful debt to Robert~

I'm so sorry~
So very, very sorry for this loss~

*HUGLETS*
~*Marge*~


~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email -             noles1@totcon.com

 
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