for joseph, I daydream of you and me home forever.

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Critical Analysis #1

for joseph, I daydream of you and me home forever.

ANABELLA
New Member

since 2000-01-30

Posts 1

0 posted 2000-01-30 06:24 PM

I could take you home with me, Show you everything that fuels my heart and soul...The sun will shine... rays..soft and luminous...reaching down for us from the heavens.

I can feel a warm breeze brush over our entagled bodies as we lie on a plush carpet of green grass. I kiss your face, your gentle eyes close with a quick flutter of your long eyelashes. I watch as your mouth forms a smile so sweet and perfectly content.

We will go for long walks...I will show you where I find my peace, my passion. Our fingers entwined, My heart wrapped in yours...You and I, solitude, the sky....Dont ever let me go...We grin and our grip tightens...Hearts overflowing...

Barefoot on the smooth, sandy beach...The waves rolling and crashing...cold and wet tickling our toes...the sun sets purple and pink..slow and true.

Spend forever with me.....I love you.

merely_a_jester
Member

since 2000-01-14

Posts 67
Arkansas... that's all you get

1 posted 2000-01-30 07:51 PM

well, it is obvious that you've put a lot of emotion into this piece and i envy him just a little

... but i like this even though it isn't in the conventional poetic stanzas... good imagery...

just another bothersome individual

To Be, contents his natural desire,
He asks no Angel's wing, no Seraph's fire;

Alexander Pope

Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite

since 2000-01-30

Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London

2 posted 2000-01-30 08:45 PM

I agree, it's not layed out
like the usual poem
but I can see that it can be
quite easily ... never-the-less
It's very good as a poem.
And if you were to add a little
and fill in between the lines a bit
You would be a talented short story
writer, as well.

Rex

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