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Critical Analysis #1
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Buffpimp
Junior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 39


0 posted 2000-01-26 09:43 PM


Hey fellas.  Well its me again.  I am pretty much posting up any poem I type throughout the day.  So here you go

Today is the day that I will regret
the unspoken words that need to be said.
Today is the day that I will forget
all of the pain and the stress in my head.

Today is the day that my soul dies out
because of a stupid mistake I made.
Today is the day that I change my route
because my love for you won't ever fade.

Today is the day that my heart shal fail
because its been broken so many times.
Today is the day that my mind will sail
because I can't stop thinking of my crimes.

Today is the day I forget my head
because tomarrow comes while I'm in bed.

© Copyright 2000 Buffpimp - All Rights Reserved
Hawk183
Member
since 1999-12-24
Posts 130

1 posted 2000-01-26 11:29 PM


BP,

Nice work...I get a good sense of the feelings of the narrarator...however I was really left guessing what "crimes" were commited, what "stupid mistake was made"...this very well could have been intentional...so that the reader can apply his own "mistake" to these feeligs, but I think it would add another dimension to the poem if something "triggered" this mindset...just my opinion.Thanks for the read.

Hawk

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