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Invocation
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Invocation |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia 
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primordial ribbons of infinity pass from the point solitaire of boundless mass where once shades of twilight snuggled within that tiny elemental bomb to an explosive kiss hurled cross time un-ending through space vast eternal distance swelling between shades of twilight resounding harmonics brought us once again into a twilight kiss brought us once again until resounding harmonics between shades of twilight eternal distance swelling through space vast hurled cross time un-ending to an explosive kiss that tiny elemental bomb snuggled within where once shades of twilight of boundless mass pass from the point solitaire primordial ribbons of infinity < !signature--> How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it. -Marcus Aurelius [This message has been edited by Local Rebel (edited 01-26-2000).] |
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Hawk183 Member
since 1999-12-24
Posts 130 |
Rebel, Exellent!! Exteremly original and very well written... What else can I say... ..... ..... I am really looking forward to your next one...Thanks. Hawk |
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Hawk183 Member
since 1999-12-24
Posts 130 |
Rebel, Exellent!! Extremely original and very well written... What else can I say... ..... ..... I am really looking forward to your next one...Thanks. Hawk |
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DesertJana Junior Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 19USA |
WOW! Local Rebel, break the stanzas to improve the flow and clarity, un-center it, change "rebounding" to "resounding" and you have a hit! Its a mantra, an invocation, a mojo-magic, existentialist spell! Cool Work Poet! Thus Follows: "primordial ribbons of infinity pass from the point solitaire of boundless mass where once shades of twilight snuggled within that tiny elemental bomb to an explosive kiss hurled cross time un-ending through space vast eternal distance swelling between shades of twilight resounding harmonics brought us once again into a twilight kiss brought us once again until resounding harmonics between shades of twilight eternal distance swelling through space vast hurled cross time un-ending to an explosive kiss that tiny elemental bomb snuggled within where once shades of twilight of boundless mass pass from the point solitaire primordial ribbons of infinity" (Something Like That Anyway...break it where you feel it to make the music go round-and-round) Til Again, Jana [This message has been edited by DesertJana (edited 01-26-2000).] |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
All things considered Jana... I'll gleefully take your breaks!  Thanks for the dice! And Hawk -- thanks for the read and praise! [This message has been edited by Local Rebel (edited 01-26-2000).] |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
LR, Upon first reading this, I kept picturing a hand grenade; images of love mixed with war. Was this your intention? I have the feeling that it wasn,t. I am big on the sight and sounds of words, and that is what they conveyed to me. I love the format; innovative, forceful. Nice work, warmhrt |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Thank you warmhrt... No this is a slightly different approach to the notion of soul mates. The conventional mystical paradigm goes something like this; A soul, which exists seperately from physical bodies, is created and split in two and sent to dwell in a mans body and a woman's body until they meet and fall in love, etc. etc. etc. Invocation looks at this from the conventional paradigm of a physisist. The universe once existed as a single point. All the matter of the universe -- including the matter that comprises you and I, existed within an extremely dense sphere possibly as small as a pin-head. It is at this point that physics breaks down. Laws make no sense any more. The universe begins to resemble nothing more than a great thought -- or, as I prefer to think of it -- a song. Within Invocation the lovers exist within this tiny sphere -- 'the elemental bomb' -- snuggled together, they are nothing more than twilight, until they 'kiss' which is the spark, the passion, that ignites the big bang and ultimately ignites the universe spreading out from infinietly small to infinitely vast. In the process the lovers are obviously separated, until after eons and eons they are finally configured in a form that comprises the essense of themselves as they existed within the primordial stew, at which time they meet, fall in love, and enjoy another twilight kiss. Entropy wins however, and the lovers cannot remain configured (they die) and dissolve once again into atoms and energy scattered across a cosmos that now is contracting to the big crunch -- the point in time when all matter will reconvene at a single point -- when they will again re-unite, kiss, and the process begins again. Thanks for the read... |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Rebel, Now that you've explained it, it is so absolutely clear ... the way the poem reads, and the meaning of the resonance. It is at once beautiful, romantic, and so very tragic. Great job, LR, Kristine |
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