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Critical Analysis #1
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patchoulipumpkin
Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 196
Bermuda

0 posted 2000-01-26 01:39 PM


My friend fell
In love
With Russia
When it was the Canadian
Hockey team
That were
The good guys

It was confusing
But made interesting
Because he taught me
About my naivete
Even though
He wasn’t trying
He already knew
That sometimes
Bad
Wins

He sided with the Russians
And in a way it was good
Because the Canadians
Had become mine
In that he said he didn’t want them
It made me consider
Myself
My good
My bad

The scores would go back and forth
And I would fight
For patriotism
I cared about Canada
To win
It made me feel good
To believe

I exclaimed a goal
And my friend did too
Even though it wasn’t Russian
And I looked at him
He smiled
The smile of stubborness
Of a cynic
Who’s been tickled
Into truth
And we laughed
When he confessed
He was just uncertain
He wanted to be different
With the Russians
But wanted Canada
To win

And that game
They actually did
So we smiled
Threw on our hockey gear
Claimed athletes names
And re-created the good
Over and over
With a tennis ball
An old net
A baseball glove
A goalie stick
A hockey stick
And the vulnerability
And excitement
Of a happy ending

That we both knew
Was tenuous
And who’s power
Needed to be harnessed
Now
Immediately
For our beliefs
Before it wore out
And reality
Descended
With its gray sheet
And flattened its
Bright colors




[This message has been edited by patchoulipumpkin (edited 01-26-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 patchoulipumpkin - All Rights Reserved
jenni
Member
since 1999-09-11
Posts 478
Washington D.C.
1 posted 2000-01-26 03:03 PM


patch--

this is an awesome piece!  just excellent... creative, insightful, fascinating, a joy to read.  loved your last two stanzas especially.  very, very well done!

jenni

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
2 posted 2000-01-26 03:57 PM


A brilliant anecdote to illustrate intellectual and spiritual awakening...

Wouldn't change a thing

haze
Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528
Bethlehem, PA USA
3 posted 2000-01-26 07:52 PM


I Agree with all of the above! Fabulous work patch...truly a great read! The close is a powerful wrap...EXTREME KUDOS!
Earthtones
Junior Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 10

4 posted 2000-01-27 12:30 PM



Nice one man, flowed all the way from the begining to the end.If I was to relate this poem to a movie, Stand by Me would be the one of choice.(let's go Bruins!)

warmhrt
Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563

5 posted 2000-01-27 12:47 PM


Again, Patch, a very good piece of work!
Go Wings!

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