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jamaicabradley
Junior Member

since 1999-11-04

Posts 39

0 posted 2000-01-26 01:22 PM

It is not gross reality
that sickens me
with our thoughts
It is the fantasy
you've dreamed
real for us

In the middle
of the vortex
is such an innocent beauty
you dare to cheapen

You dare
to embark apon
my sapposed signifigance
when I'm playing no card
no joker
and this is all you can see
some wild card
blown over your house

Where is your voice of reason
gone away
gone away
and you think it is there
with you
and your so empty
this is no reason
only pure influence
to negate your substance

But they would never hurt you
Well, I would never hurt you
and I've stood in defiance
for a long time
I've stood tall in harsh winds
and finally they have blown me over.

A tree can stand only
for so long
and the leaves are stripped
and the bark is chipped by
bitter rain
and if it is young
(not enough time)
to gain strength
through width
When the tree
stands alone in the way
of constant storms
it will fall

You never understood
took time to realize or accept
because this is painful
for you
and I see this
and I understand this
and I accept this
I accepted this,
a long time ago

You hated me all this time
for it
and I realize this

I alone hold not enough power
to battle against the many.

Hawk183
Member

since 1999-12-24

Posts 130

1 posted 2000-01-26 03:56 PM

Jamaica,

This a powerful piece...
I really like the stanza with the tree metaphor...it was different and vivid.
In the third stanza I think there is a spelling error with the word "supposed".
Great piece!

Hawk

jamaicabradley
Junior Member

since 1999-11-04

Posts 39

2 posted 2000-01-26 11:34 PM

Thank you Hawk!

Yes, I am sure that would be a spelling mistake, I'm glad you only found one! I must admit I have been a little lazy lately, and a little reprimand would be a good thing.

Jamaica

Hawk183
Member

since 1999-12-24

Posts 130

3 posted 2000-01-26 11:50 PM

Think nothing of it...there is usually about three spelling errors found in everything I post. I think yours was just a typo.

Hawk

Buffpimp
Junior Member

since 2000-01-23

Posts 39

4 posted 2000-01-27 06:25 PM

Your poem really touched me. I thought it was very strong and imaginative
keep it up

Poertree
Senior Member

since 1999-11-05

Posts 1359
UK

5 posted 2000-01-27 06:47 PM

Jamaica

I've no time right now for a long reply but just to say this was another thought provoking read .. thanks

Philip

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