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Wordshaman
Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 110
Illinois, USA

0 posted 2000-01-26 04:34 AM


Connor sleeps in chaos.
On a night where everyone's f*cking,
Everyone's on the Internet loud and rowdy,
And Pantera's adrenalining out the stereo,
Connor passed out an hour ago.

The Jagermeister challenge proved too much,
And now he's gone for the night.
Like a little death
That he'll return from
In the morning.

Kelly's off flashing her tits,
And Amanda's picking from her litter,
Her night-long harem.
Meanwhile, curled on a couch
And innocent without the bags
Under the eyes that have been his
For sixteen years,
Connor sleeps in chaos.  

© Copyright 2000 Greg Butler - All Rights Reserved
Poertree
Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359
UK
1 posted 2000-01-26 06:04 AM


WS

I THINK i understand this. If i do, it is an insightful (is that a word?) and penetrating glimpse into contemporary life .... and something close to my heart ..

I'm too much of coward to stick my neck out, and anyway I haven't got time right now  

Philip

DesertJana
Junior Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 19
USA
2 posted 2000-01-26 10:55 AM


Just Wow! What a statement! I feel for 16 year old Connor in this chaos you have described so well
J.L. Humphres
Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 201
Alabama
3 posted 2000-01-26 06:01 PM


wordshaman,
   I know exactly what this poem's about. It's about one of the lives I've lived in my short 22 years. If you think taking the jagger challenge is bad you should try the 7 day challenge. On second thought no you shouldn't, no one should. Jason has very often slept in chaos himself. I've written volumes on the subject, only to awaken to find them gone.
   Good poem ws. You really capture what goes on at these kinds of times well.
                     J.L.H.

 Jason
I...I have seen the best minds of my generation...
--Allen Ginsberg

warmhrt
Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563

4 posted 2000-01-26 06:11 PM


Words,

Excellent!  Lord,  I feel for Conner.

This also reminded me of a debate I was part

of concerning the use of the word f*ck in

poetry posted on the net.  You can imagine

how heated that became!


Good work,

warmhrt

Hawk183
Member
since 1999-12-24
Posts 130

5 posted 2000-01-26 09:05 PM


WS,

Ironicaly enough...I have loved the "litter picking" Amanda...name and all.  I too feel for this guy...but I would have to suggest 151 for true chaos. Tough lessons are learned young in these times, and that makes them all the harder to realize...but no doubt we do what we can.

Hawk

Buffpimp
Junior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 39

6 posted 2000-01-26 09:39 PM


Hello Conner.
   Well what can i say about this piece.  I LOVED IT!  I cant think of anyone who has the balls or guts to write something like that and actually give it to someone to read.  I admire you for your courage and think that it is wonderful.  Peace out
PAtrick

jenni
Member
since 1999-09-11
Posts 478
Washington D.C.
7 posted 2000-01-27 02:25 AM


wordshaman--

wow is right... deceptively simple, and at once sad and disturbing.  very, very well done.

jenni

jbouder
Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534
Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash
8 posted 2000-01-27 07:51 AM


WS:

Of all I have seen from you so far I like this one the best (but I think I would have preferred Offspring to Pantera or maybe even STP ... just my taste, though   ).   The multiple meanings the first and last lines was a well executed effect.  Jenni's right ... deceptively simple.  Good job.

Jim

Wordshaman
Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 110
Illinois, USA
9 posted 2000-01-27 05:22 PM


Yeah, Jim.  I think I would've preferred STP myself (as would have Connor), but...
patchoulipumpkin
Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 196
Bermuda
10 posted 2000-01-28 01:57 AM


Yeh, i can understand this very well.  An intense, emotion fuelled picture of a young guy.  I would agree with STP, but Pantera gives it that extra quality of chaos.
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