Critical Analysis #1 |
A Poem |
warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
words one does not speak, beating on the bars of the mind which holds them captive, until the pen is put to paper, and as ink flows, the prisoners escape hidden within thoughts and perceptions, released with pardoned emotions, and free to now face the light. warmhrt [This message has been edited by warmhrt (edited 01-17-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 warmhrt - All Rights Reserved | |||
patchoulipumpkin Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 196Bermuda |
This poem, gives me imagery of the death penalty for some reason. That the ideas are "executed", when they are put on the page. Interesting. ONe thing, in the second stanza you start it off, with "until the pen is put to paper..." and then describe in follwing sequence what happens to the prisoners. The idea that struck me is why not stop the first stanza where it is. And open the next one with, Until ...... and then explain how the prisoners are trapped in there, what the prisoners are going through. In other words ,explain what the "ideas" are going through before they can get out. This is a great idea, definitely go with it. |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Thanks, Patch ... I did mean it to feel like prisoners, but not of execution, only of release. In referring to the facing the light, I was attempting to convey that they would be seen, and judged, by others. I'll work with it. Thank you for your advice ... I sincerely do appreciate it. warmhrt [This message has been edited by warmhrt (edited 01-17-2000).] |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
I thought the imagery was just great here. That's certainly one thing I do not do very well and I am awed by someone who does it as well as you consistently do. Thanks. Pete |
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Hawk183 Member
since 1999-12-24
Posts 130 |
Warmhrt, So many time I have wnted to say...to say...something,yet the words only found a home on paper...you have created a wonderful metaphor here. I really enjoyed it! Hawk |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Pete, Awed? Oh, my gawd! Naw! Thanks, I do truly appreciate your comments. If they're really flattering, though, I find it hard to take them graciously. Hawk, I really am glad I can bring a little interest to the world and to you ... Thank you very much. |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Warmhrt, Sorry, didn't mean to be overly flattering or embarass you, but you do have a way with pretty words that I only wish for. Pete |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Pete, You weren't over-flattering if you spoke truly of the way you felt, and I was not really embarrassed, just find it difficult to respond to such comments. And I do sincerely appreciate them. warmhrt |
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tucsonwoman New Member
since 2000-01-05
Posts 4 |
Hello, I am not a poet, nor a critic, I am a reader of poems. You put how I often feel very well. Thank you. |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Hey, TW, How are you? All's well, I hope. Glad you like my work. Blessings, warmhrt |
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jenni Member
since 1999-09-11
Posts 478Washington D.C. |
tucsonwoman? THE tuscon woman??? as in cassie? welcome! |
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