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warmhrt
Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563


0 posted 2000-01-14 12:06 PM


hey you ...
you know who you are
sitting in the midst of chaos
pulling petals from daisies
one
by
one
what right have you to dream
you made your choices
now make no excuses
for we will not acknowledge them
there is nothing you can do

hey you ...
clear your head
of white foaming waves
of lipstick shaded sunsets for
you
have a
reality
you must face damn it
learn to live with it
we will hear of nothing else
we know what's best for you

hey you ...
you know who you are
hiding in your bed
sheets over your head though
you
cannot
hide
yourself away from us
only we know what will bring you joy
how dare you make a choice of self
how dare you keep the oceans and the sunsets
and the meadow strewn with daisies ...

while our world falls apart


warmhrt

© Copyright 2000 warmhrt - All Rights Reserved
poetry_kills
Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549
new orleans
1 posted 2000-01-14 02:25 AM


warmhrt: i really like this poem... i'm not usually a fan of widely-varied free-verse meter, but i think you pull it off very well by keeping the structure consistant with each stanza... the sentiment is very thought-provoking and intriguing... i have no significant criticisms, so keep up the good work  

sincerely,
**jerome the boy with no brain

karneliann
Junior Member
since 1999-10-28
Posts 44
Baltimore, MD, USA
2 posted 2000-01-14 10:08 AM


what i liked about this piece was the irony in the last lines.  it's the "real" world that's falling apart, while the dreamer's world is much more tangible and seemingly stronger, strong enough to endure all of the attacks by the speakers.  it's nice to have beauty win for a change in our all-too-rational lives.  this poem is lovely.

 "My empire is of the imagination." -- She


haze
Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528
Bethlehem, PA USA
3 posted 2000-01-14 10:28 AM


warmhrt...

WOW! You have a strong statement here, well-honed! Wonderful work, I must say I feel the same (sometimes) When I am swallowed whole by contemporary dogma. Here is something I wrote on the same lines awhile back...

Shall dreams be
Devoured
by chaos Drained
to dry Drunk
from this bitter bowl?

NO

We dream Count
stars In vivid color
We remain
Human
after all.

*I love this message-your straight forward approach to this! Its beautiful & full of heart.

Strong Kudos & Blessings
After All

Til Again...
~haze

warmhrt
Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563

4 posted 2000-01-14 11:52 AM


jerome, karneliann, and haze,
I would like to express my genuine appreciation to you for taking the time to read my work, and write such kind comments.  
If it weren't for others reading and commenting, none of us would be here any longer.

karneliann,
I am honored that you liked this piece ... your work is so professional and well-honed, finely crafted, and so very image provoking.

haze,
you, also, honor me with your comments, and a great piece of your own! (just asking ... why blessings "after all"?)


[This message has been edited by warmhrt (edited 01-14-2000).]

Kirk T Walker
Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 357
Liberty, MO
5 posted 2000-01-14 11:55 AM


This poem seems to make a great statement on how some people look at poetry or other art as a waste of time, as well as accenting (in the last line) the need for art or some form of escape from the troubles of this world.  The last line seems to be key to the message of this poem but I also enjoyed the "pulling petals from daisies/one/by/one" I got a nice visual and also a sense of the rythmic plucking and of the petals, I could almost feel the faint strain as the petals let go from the flower.

haze
Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528
Bethlehem, PA USA
6 posted 2000-01-14 12:00 PM


warmhrt...after all is just a phrase I plucked from the poem... But it also means after we have been through the wringer, more than once, we still remain dreamers at heart.

No other intention X-My-Heart
~haze


warmhrt
Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563

7 posted 2000-01-14 12:23 PM


Kirk, (may I call you that?)
Thanks so much for the positive commemts.  It thrills me when someone tells me they can get the visual "feel" of one of my pieces!  
I'll have to look up some of your work.  Thanks again,

warmhrt

Ophelia
Junior Member
since 2000-01-12
Posts 19

8 posted 2000-01-14 02:18 PM


Warmhrt,

I truly appreciate your ability to put thought into free verse, sometimes I don't think it is given enough credit. This poem really spoke to me, as we all judge from our points of view, and yet the trick is to not judge. Thank you for this reminder.....

Ophelia

jbouder
Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534
Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash
9 posted 2000-01-14 04:54 PM


Okay!  Okay!  I'm coming out from under the covers already.  Geeze!

Seriously, WH, this is strong stuff.  Jim Teacher is the Grasshopper this time, dear.

Great work.

Jim

warmhrt
Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563

10 posted 2000-01-14 05:36 PM


Ophelia,
I sincerely appreciate your appreciation of this.

Jim,
You have been hiding ... though I'm sure it was not under a sheet.  Nice to see ya back, teach.  You truly liked this free verse?
Well, I'll be ....

warmhrt

angel6917
Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 478
WI
11 posted 2000-01-15 04:38 PM


Wow, you're poem really spoke to me.  I understand completely how you feel.  I wish I could put my feelings into words the way you do, although it's hard for me.  Keep up the good work...

 

warmhrt
Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563

12 posted 2000-01-15 05:27 PM


Angel,
Thank you so much, and WECOME!  The more you write, the more you'll learn (reading helps, too.)  Appreciate the appreciation, and the comments.

warmhrt

Songbird
Member Elite
since 1999-12-15
Posts 2184
Missouri
13 posted 2000-01-15 07:34 PM


Very interesting poem, I agree with everything that Kirk said about it, which is basically what I would have said. I like the attitude of the poem also, it is a little different than most.
jenni
Member
since 1999-09-11
Posts 478
Washington D.C.
14 posted 2000-01-15 09:33 PM


hey you-- yes, you-- writing such wonderful poems as this one and making it all look easy.  well done!!

jenni

warmhrt
Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563

15 posted 2000-01-15 10:07 PM


Septsong (Hi, where ya been? Missed ya) and jenni,
Sometimes if you've written one most seem to like, you begin just repeating yourself over and over in replies.  I guess all I can say is that I'm happy that I was able to give you a couple of minutes of enjoyment.  We both get some pleasure out of it, I s'pose.
Thanks a lot!

warmhrt

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