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Critical Analysis #1
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haze
Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528
Bethlehem, PA USA

0 posted 2000-01-13 09:14 AM


A Review From The 3AM Cafe


Galleria Cerebrum
D'Artistes Nella Casa


The reception opened
with Artists-In-Residence
Each in Black & Vivid color
Displaying thesis/antithesis
Unique brushes/Genius
on broad cloth canvas
Backdrop
for resident poets
Delivering Lines
Swirling Imagery
Power-Broker Politics
Existentialist Prophecy
Poignant Dreams
More Black & Vivid
waves
In small intimate rooms
Critiques engaged Critics
More conversation More wine
More glass laughter

This Morning
Outside of the cafe
I pluck torn playbills
from flat-nerved streets
Wet with litter
Open alleyways
have become a January mall
roofed with filthy gray
polyester thatch and batting
More batting
More torn notes
from poets More remnants
of canvas, color
A masculine black tie
Feminine mono-prints
Lipstick-On-Tissue

The editor calls
He wants
Lines Quotes
More
Pictures
A Review
In full regalia
He wants
The 3AM Opening
to dance off the page
He wants
To have been there
In The Whole

Inside my head I sweep
damp dust
Strewn from streets
All I have for you today
is trash
and cold dirty hands.


Translation: Galleria Cerebrum D'Artistes Nella Casa
             Italian for Brain-Gallery of the Artists In Residence



[This message has been edited by haze (edited 01-13-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Haze McElhenny - All Rights Reserved
Hawk183
Member
since 1999-12-24
Posts 130

1 posted 2000-01-13 03:00 PM


Haze,

What can I say except DAMN!
I am always impressed by your writing...
there seems to be no subject you cannot trancend beyond the realm of the mundane, and make an interesting and esoteric work...Thanks again!

Hawk

haze
Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528
Bethlehem, PA USA
2 posted 2000-01-13 05:57 PM


hawk i thank you much.

This is about a dream (yes poetry & paintings do wake me up at night) I spent last night sorely stuck between sleep & awake. Paintings (images) kept showing themselves to me and then they were gone...*pouff* like a dream. But the poetry...Words, phrases, complete poems were being read to me (in my voice) and they were great! I wish I could have remembered even one line...I got up at 3 am and tried...nope.

Don't tell me to keep a tablet by the bed because, when I was consciously awake...it was all dust & remnants. But I wish you could have seen the color.

Thank you again for your compliments. They do mean much.

Til Again,
~haze

Brad
Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea
3 posted 2000-01-17 02:59 AM


Haze,
While I'm not particularly comfortable with some of the line lengths here especially in the third stanza -- don't think that quite works in the way you intended, I do believe you've captured the moment very well. The ending seems a bit out of place or rather I didn't feel the punch (kind of knew where you were going). One of these days, maybe we can talk dialectic and existentialism?  
Are you an Adorno fan?
Brad

haze
Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528
Bethlehem, PA USA
4 posted 2000-01-17 08:32 AM


Slice & Dice at will Sir Brad...

The 3rd stanza is to read stacato...like a fist, an editor's fist...
Bamp! Bamp! Bamp!
on the desk...I want want want!!!

Regarding the punch at the end...I want an absent one...Resignation, I am resigned to the trash left by my wanton muse, cold dirty hands.

Adorno? No.
Corso-Yes...now argue he is not an existentialist...but he is.

I would much enjoy a talk with you on this...I think.

Til Again
~haze
Ps...Thank you for the read.



[This message has been edited by haze (edited 01-17-2000).]

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