Critical Analysis #1 |
bored |
karneliann Junior Member
since 1999-10-28
Posts 44Baltimore, MD, USA |
they tell me I'm on the fast track which gives me a rush of pride as swift as this train I'm on until the gremlin whispers "fast track to where?" who wants a free ride to trenton? hurtling towards aluminum when all I want's the carnelian flood of orange, regardless of the cost the plains whizz by so fast you'd think I wouldn't have the time to be so bored, dissatisfied but flat and dusty's not my style give me craggy mountains, restless sea. so what if most of my time is spent light-headed, breathless dazzled by the sun so I can scarcely see my goal? at least I won't be bored and bored is hell. < !signature--> "My empire is of the imagination." -- She [This message has been edited by karneliann (edited 01-13-2000).] |
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haze Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528Bethlehem, PA USA |
Karneliann... ""fast track to where?" who wants a free ride to trenton?" Good Point...excellent poem! I have a fellow beat-on the board!!! Excellent Work Here Poet! Might I suggest a new title? Perhaps, "On The Fast Track To Trenton" |
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karneliann Junior Member
since 1999-10-28
Posts 44Baltimore, MD, USA |
i need to clarify-- "bored" isn't the title of the poem, it's just the topic title (and also my state of mind at work right now). the poem is actually untitled. i'm glad you can relate. i can speak from some of my own experience here, having lived in trenton for 4 years. "My empire is of the imagination." -- She |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Great piece ... one I'm sure many can identify with, especially the second stanza. Welcome ... you sure have a good start! warmhrt [This message has been edited by warmhrt (edited 01-12-2000).] |
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Hawk183 Member
since 1999-12-24
Posts 130 |
Great work... I like this poem and the mood it sets. I like the last two lines...clever Welcome and keep 'em coming. Hawk |
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