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Critical Analysis #1
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If I Left You (A Reply Esp for Jim Bouder)
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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If I Left You (A Reply Esp for Jim Bouder) |
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haze Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528Bethlehem, PA USA 
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If I Left You See all of the edges Tear-stained rhetoric of what I would Let to no other If I left you Then what Would I show you Tomorrow Narcissus in a withered handful Tulmultuous spasms of bearing Vidas Red & Black Pills vanished under wash and waterfall of blood Drunk To Please Please Please Drink me If I left you what would you remember Rags? I'll leave nothing before matchsticks Nothing before I am celluloid Torn I'll leave you This hand Pink Open 5 Aces Spades I'll keep in my sleeve. [This message has been edited by haze (edited 01-12-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Haze McElhenny - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
I think this one is worthy of a more formal reply. Look for it where you know you'll find it!  Verry nice. I'll leave off my bitch tome because after the third run through it looked perfect. |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Haze: I'll have to come back to this one later but, for now, I want to thank you for directing this one (for some reason) toward me. Perhaps it has something to do with my recent post. Just to rest your mind, what occurred in the "Silver Medal" took place some time ago (assuming that is why you directed your poem my way). Whatever the reason, thanks. This is a remarkable work. Jim "If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther |
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haze Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528Bethlehem, PA USA |
LR...(XX) to you...*g* How much flattery can a gurrl stand...did i ask you before? How much have you got (flattery that is *S*)? JB- This poem has many levels and meanings. Perhaps it was mused mostly by "Silver Medal" ...Thank you for the read...Til Again My Friend...~haze [This message has been edited by haze (edited 01-12-2000).] |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Haze, I have seen that there are many layers to the person who writes these lines. I don't want to offend you...you're poetry is tragically beautiful, but I can see that it comes from pain. The piece was truly painfully exquisite. warmhrt [This message has been edited by warmhrt (edited 01-13-2000).] |
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haze Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528Bethlehem, PA USA |
warmhrt...Thank you...I know the pain shows, I also know if I tried to write without it my voice would turn false. Thank you also for your compliments...Til Again...~haze Ps... What passed before is forgotten, truly. |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Haze, Most good poets write from emotion, for they often "feel" more than the average person does, their perceptions are keener, more honed, and because of this joy is more joyous, pain is more painful. Writing of one's emotions is not only creative, but a release .... learning to put emotion in front of oneself, and actually examine it. I recommend Kay Redfield Jamison's book, "Touched with Fire", which eloquently describes the link between creativity and pain. You will see most of the revered poets, writers, and artists knew deep pain very intimately. Don't ever try to silence your voice, my friend. Fondly, warmhrt |
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haze Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528Bethlehem, PA USA |
warmhrt, I thank you (truly) for this. I shall look for the book. Til Again, ~haze |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
I think I could write a solid paper on this poem -- it moves in so many directions. A point of made to someone who doesn't post here (believe me, he would be kicked out of the Adult forum in five minutes let alone here) and I don't know if this is a compliement or a criticism (or if I'm right) but there are moments in this poem when I think I can see where your thoughts are going, I can almost anticipate what will happen next, the lines above trigger the lines below (this is not the same is knowing how the poem is going to end). Stylistically, I still say you need punctuation -- it has always seemed strange to me that if you're going to use conventions of the language (you know, like words  ) why not use all the tools you have at your disposal? The poem has a certain vagueness to it but that vagueness (a rare, rare moment for me) actually strenthens the poem's theme -- a fear of showing oneself. I'll leave it at that but if I have to, I'll prove that my interpretation is at least possible.  Warmhrt: Poets are also self absorbed, conceited, and completely blind to certain aspects of life. They can't see the forest for the trees. While poets may indeed have passion, they often lack compassion. It sort of comes with the territory. The link between pain and creativity may indeed be there but it also may not -- there's a twentieth century myth out there that I'm very leery of. What I'm leery of is precisely making one's judgement of poetry based on the pain in a person's real life (Shakespeare in Love). If a person is happy, they didn't right good poetry. So, who's a better poet: Sylvia Plath or Seamus Heaney? Brad PS So did you think I was going to say Ted Hughes? |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Brad, I referred to pain, as haze did. I truly believe that poets are more sensitive to feelings, thoughts, emotions, perceptions, stimuli....whatever. If we weren't, how would we be able to take those things and examine them, in order to write about them. If these things were shallow, we would not be able to do this. We feel things on a deeper level ... happiness, love, and all the positive emotions included. Of course, if one is in a depressive period, they aren't going to write of joy. I disagree with your "self-absorbed" statement. I think that is a classic misnomer applied to artistic types. I feel poets have the abilities to look within, and, at times, the need to release is paramount. So we write, and write and write. Poets do not write for others ... they write for themselves, and in it being a gift to others of their choosing, then it is not a selfish act. It is one of self-preservation. |
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