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Critical Analysis #1
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Ted Reynolds
Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 331


0 posted 2000-01-09 06:44 PM


His last moment was full of thoughts and feelings he had no time to finish --
Desperate hope for the success of the cause for which he was dying,
Anguish at having brought the woman he most loved into the same fate,
A sense of the beauty of the world more poignant than he had ever felt,
And the beginning of a great pain of which he would not reach the end --
                      And he died,
And he woke,
To morning in his own bed, his hard-hammering heart beginning to slow,
To a growing memory of the actual world into which he had been born,
To the solid feel of his authentic body around him, enclosing him warmly,
To a throbbing image of the tangible woman who waited for him this day,
To recollection of the great cause for which he would truly risk his life,
                           And he grasped
To bring back the unreal, the lost dream-beauty, dream cause, dream-life.
He did not want to lose, to forget, to betray, what had just held all his heart,
But it had faded, he could not remember that form and that ideal.
It had gone forever, he could never bring back even the memory of any of it,
And his real life called him out to it, full of genuine feeling and purpose.
                              And he thought
When I die next, when I really die, and every time that I die,
Will everything always be taken away from me again and again and again?
                     And he wept,
And is still weeping.



© Copyright 2000 Ted Reynolds - All Rights Reserved
J.L. Humphres
Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 201
Alabama
1 posted 2000-01-09 07:50 PM


Ted,
  I am absolutely certain that some of the ideas in this work are escaping me. That means I am probrably going to read this over and over trying to soak it all up. It doesn't really move me emotionally, but rather it is an extremely thought provoking piece. Somehow reminds me of "Sunflower Sutra" by dear old Al Ginsberg. A very interesting piece. Thanks for the read.
               J.L.H.

 Jason
I...I have seen the best minds of my generation...
--Allen Ginsberg

roxane
Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505
us
2 posted 2000-01-09 09:01 PM


ted,
so this is about a man being upset by reincarnation because he loses all he has gained?  i can understand that.  if it's not, i don't know what it's about.
i think it's pretty good though, if a little too long.  
otherwise, good work.

Hawk183
Member
since 1999-12-24
Posts 130

3 posted 2000-01-09 10:12 PM


Let's hope that we at least get to keep the lessons we learned when we wake up next time.   I think this a very good piece but I'm confused about this line:

To the solid feel of his authentic body,

I'm not sure if you are saying that the physical plane "he's" in is the reality he longs for or what...(help!)Maybe I'm just reading too much into that one.  Nice work.

Hawk

warmhrt
Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563

4 posted 2000-01-09 11:23 PM


Ted,
I was very drawn to this piece. My impression was of dreaming of having and being all that you ever wanted, waking up and trying to hold on to the dream, but they quickly disappear from memory. Then from the glorious feeling left lingering from the dream, the narrator must face the reality with which he is very dissatisfied.
Nice piece of work.

warmhrt

Hawk183
Member
since 1999-12-24
Posts 130

5 posted 2000-01-09 11:48 PM


Warmhrt....
I like the interpretation you gave of this piece.  I am still curious...but you have brought it more into perspective for me.

Ted...I had to comment again because I caught the dream thing on the second read(and after the above message )So is this about reincarnation, or the waking up from a dream?

Hawk

Ted Reynolds
Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 331

6 posted 2000-01-10 01:33 PM


Hawk asks "So is this about reincarnation, or the waking up from a dream?"  The answer is "YES!"  One great thing about poetry is that you can write about two things at once.

The experience of waking from such a dream, grasping to retain it, but losing it, was my own.  My own (present) life is rewarding, warmhrt, but I also felt as if I were betraying something valuable by forgetting my dream life.  I made the connection with what might happen after death, and wrote the poem.

Thanks for the input, folks.  (Certainly, "authentic" will have to go.)

John Foulstone
Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 100
Australia
7 posted 2000-01-10 01:46 PM


Much enjoyed. If reincarnation does occur, how truly awful to have been a prince, and become a common frog, so to speak. The feeling put me in mind of several survivors of MVAs I nursed, who had lost many of their
faculties. Pervasive depression. Knew something was gone, but couldn't know what.
Well done.

 It's never too late to have a happy childhood ...

Ryan
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
Kansas
8 posted 2000-01-10 09:35 PM


Very nice piece.  The title drew me to it, and I really liked the subject.  It brings to my mind a very interesting idea.  What if we are just another dream of ourself, and one day we'll wake up and this life you and I know will be forgotten for someother life which is just another dream?  Who knows where it begins and ends.  I know personally, many times, I've been woken up by my alarm at an hour way too early for me and had dreams interrupted.  I always struggle to hold on, but most of the time it just fades away as the rest of the day takes precedence in my mind.  This poem is what I think every morning when I can vaguely remember some dream from only ten minutes ago.

As for actual suggestions about the structure, wording, etc. of the poem, I can't say I really have any.  I've never been one for taking lots of time and going through and analyzing poems line by line.  But I will say that I love the last two lines.  They have some sort of power that really puts closure on the poem.  I want to find something to suggest for improvements, but nothing comes to mind right now so I'll just leave this post as it is.

Ryan
< !signature-->

 I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.
—Jack Kerouac


[This message has been edited by Ryan (edited 01-10-2000).]

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