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Critical Analysis #1
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warmhrt
Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563


0 posted 2000-01-09 02:38 AM


(d.b.-can't say I never wrote anything about ya!)


she had a meeting, took the car.

anticipating heavier rain,
he dons a slicker, digs out an umbrella,
but as he steps out the door,
he sees his preparations were in vain.
blustering, near gale force winds
render his equipment 'bout useless.
bracing himself, he leans into the wind,
and begins to battle his way to his
most desired of destinations.

cold, wind-driven, icy needles pierce
his skin, stinging it raw and angry red,
yet he refuses to turn back,
his desire driving him on as
water-logged shoes slap the pavement,
feet anesthetized by the cold,
clothing fully saturated and dripping,
icy rivulets running down his face.

he looks up and a grin breaks out,
as he sees his journey's end.

wide windows with a door between,
a quicken of pace soon brings him inside,
a cold puddle forming at his feet.
The lady sitting in a chair off
to the side snuffs out her cigarette,
saunters slowly to the counter,
her stare of disbelief obvious as he says,

"a quart of mocha almond fudge, please".

warmhrt




[This message has been edited by warmhrt (edited 01-09-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 warmhrt - All Rights Reserved
John Foulstone
Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 100
Australia
1 posted 2000-01-09 08:00 AM


Warm, a cute story, well told. Some people will do anything for a sugar fix!
Hawk183
Member
since 1999-12-24
Posts 130

2 posted 2000-01-09 11:37 AM


The description here almost made me shiver.
I also found this very cute...nothing wrong with cute though.
This is agood example of your ability to portry the situation...details mixed feelings.  Nice work.

Hawk

J.L. Humphres
Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 201
Alabama
3 posted 2000-01-09 08:28 PM


warmhrt,

  Enjoyed this one, as usual. It is a cute story. Reminds me of a friend of mine, whom I have ridden with late at night to get ice cream, candy bars, etc. for his pregnant wife. Good one.
                    J.L.H.

 Jason
I...I have seen the best minds of my generation...
--Allen Ginsberg

roxane
Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505
us
4 posted 2000-01-09 08:31 PM


i agree that it's cute, and i won't chastise you for it.  i think it's clever.  the devoted husband making this trek in the rain, for what???  ice cream.  it's nice, really.  good work.

warmhrt
Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563

5 posted 2000-01-09 10:55 PM


John, Hawk, Jason, and roxanne,
Thanks for the cute comments...glad you enjoyed. This was really a bit of a friendly jab at someone who says he never (always)
exaggerates, and thinks ice cream cures everything. I did my best to combine the two
into a tale with a tiny bit of sarcasm.
Thanks again,

warmhrt


patchoulipumpkin
Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 196
Bermuda
6 posted 2000-01-09 11:05 PM


hilarious, i thought this was brilliant, it made me laugh.
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