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Critical Analysis #1
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In Tucson Toucan Tango (repost from the other place)
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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In Tucson Toucan Tango (repost from the other place) |
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John Foulstone Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 100Australia |
In Tucson toucan tango and the armadillo sing Marsupials make merry in the silver little spring And a girl of gold I'd like to hold Becomes that wise black king. In Tucson toucan tango and the porcupines all fly The cactus wrens make music that could make you almost cry And a girl of gold I'd like to hold Sells tickets to the sky. In Tucson toucan tango and coyotes passing through Tell tall tales about Cibola while they dance a jig or two And a girl of gold I'd like to hold Is wond'ring what to do. In Tucson toucan tango - no, enough, this tale is done The Indians have scattered and the buffalo are gone And the girl of gold I'd like to hold Stands waiting in the sun. |
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| © Copyright 2000 John Foulstone - All Rights Reserved | |||
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
John, What a delightful, playful piece! Excellent imagery, meter and rhyme. Loved the "toucan" bit. Geez, you're good! Enjoyed as usual, warmhrt P.S. I'm still riding that obtuse express, I think (got a lot on my mind), but I don't understand "becomes that wise black king". |
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Kenneth Ray Taylor Member
since 1999-11-11
Posts 139Duluth, Minnesota, USA |
Your poem reads (to me) like a nonsense song from the '60 (i.e. CCR's "Lookin' Out My Back Door"). The "wise black king" confuses me. Is this a reference to the third wise man, traditionally a black king? If so, I don't understand the connection. Was she the bearer of myrrh (i.e. grief)? That's the best I can do with it. |
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John Foulstone Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 100Australia |
In school xmas pageants, Cassie was always a "stupid shepherd". What she wanted to be was "the black king that brought myrrh. He got to sing solo and carry a cool box with tree sap in it. You'd think the Reverend would have made an exception for a gapped tooth blond 7 year old with a real desire to carry the box. And paint her face black." I know that such totally unintelligible references have no place in good poetry, but ... this was written for Cassie, and she understands. |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
What's wrong with 'inside' jokes in poetry? The funny thing is that Kenneth got it right anyway. Part of the fun of poetry can be the ambiguity and in trying to figure out a meaning on your own terms. It's one way to exercise the ole nerve synapses anyway. As to the poem itself, I was originally going to say that it's a bit too sing songy for my taste but that the repetition of the lines holds a strength that keeps drawing me back. I may not be Cassey but I enjoyed reading this poem. You know poetry for many of us begins with nursery rhymes and I see no reason that we can't go back to 'nonsense' stuff now and then. Brad |
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Ted Reynolds Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 331 |
I find this absolutely delightful, and think it needs no apologies whatever. The swing and lilt of what Brad (in friendly fashion, though) calls "nonsense" stuff lies under much memorable poetry from "Full fathom five," to Sandburg and Auden. It's been much cast aside in the last half-century, in favor of more solemn pontifiation, but I think wrongly. As for "in jokes," you can divide poetry into that which is written for a reading audience, and that which is written for oneself or one's loved ones, which a reading audience is nevertheless lucky enough to overhear. I find tth latter's where the true gold lies. Just my opinion. |
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roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
john, i'm going to try not to be too harsh here.... I LOVED IT!!! what is there not to love about this poem? the imagery is beautiful, and the stanzas flow and flow. this is simply wonderful. great job.... i might have to print this, if it's okay with you. |
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John Foulstone Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 100Australia |
Thanks all! I enjoyed writing this, unlike the ghost I wrote recently. Brad, re the insider bit, it's just something I was taught in school, a long time ago. If things have changed, good. Makes life easier. Roxane, feel free to print anything you like. It's an honour (to me, that is) |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
John: I really liked this also. The first line kinda worried me. Come on, if you read a poem that began "In Tucson toucan tango and the armadillo sing", what would you think? I'm glad you addressed Kenneth's question about the "wise black king" but I love a good mental workout in interpreting a poem. I also appreciated your use of iambic meter. Beginning the third line in each stanza with an accented syllable worked well to break from the sing-song to the serious. Nice work. Jim "If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther |
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Kevin Taylor Member
since 1999-12-23
Posts 185near Vancouver, BC, Canada |
wisht i'd writ it Kevin |
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quicksilver girl New Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 4Alberta canada |
An awesome poem.It's very rhythmic, and flows well. It actually made me happy by just reading it! |
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dianawho? New Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 8 |
loved thispoem!! I also liked the imagery,very easy to read and happy. If your meaning is lost remember that you accomplished one of the things that art is supposed to you made me smile  |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Sorry I am so late in commenting on this one,  but when I first read the first line, I guess it just didn't seem interesting to me (I suppose it did seem a little nonsensical) so I really didn't try very hard after that. Today I came back and read it again and it really caught my interest this time. Then I read the other comments (the black king bit went right over my head) and I think most everyone is right.So, I guess this is not a critique. It's just saying I enjoyed it as the light-hearted verse that it is. And, somewhat nonsensical though it may be, consider this.'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wade; All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe. "Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun The frumious Bandersnatch!" Whew, what was that? I think yours makes perfect sense! Pete |
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