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The last Call
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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The last Call |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704
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*I wrote this based on my thoughts about a sociology paper I will take next year at university.* The Last Call: The Sociology of death and dying Soon I will sit in a lecture room amid the earnest and I will listen scrawl pictures in the corner of dead pages and hurry hard to follow theories is there truth in dissertation? I will wonder while an impassive voice drones or occasionally spurts in eager tones where the deceased belong in the telling of their lives how many of the mouths that chew on pens have kissed the brows of the cold? Secret dread is held immobile in that place of immortality through intelligence yet all shall succumb to the dust And I And you denial perhaps protection is a folding cloak word-wrapping around the flesh so fragile malleable sewn from finality fraying with a touch of time 9.12.99 ...I am not a painter, I am a poet... F. O'Hara |
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| © Copyright 1999 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Severn, This poem hit my in the core for several reasons, You have obviously contemplated the subject matter of the course (Paper) in advance and the dread of intellectual theories regarding the very destiny of those that dicuss them. Probably a boring topic for most students. But your thoughts run much deeper than most. And I sense a little intuitive curiousity about the subject, a little apperhension in the fact that such things even have a "theory" and a bit of dread at what might be presented. All of this in your use of "wonder", the question of theory, the "word wrapping" (wonderful!) For it is all word wrapping, of course. This subject is indeed an interesting one, for other societies do view death so differently, some with much passion, some celebrate it, some accept it matter of factly as a very valid part of life, and not with "dread". But the mere fact of putting into words the meaning of death, is a very delicate proposition, indeed, and I sense all of this in your work. From the point of view of another (unaccomplished) poet, this piece is exquisite, in content, wordage, in the flow of thoughts, in the "feel" of it. A difficult subject to write a poem about, a class you haven't taken yet, but you did it superbly. Two thumbs up from this poet! Elizabeth |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Severn: Hey, lady. You brought back haunting memories of Professor Ott droning on about Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and her stages of death and dying in Sociology 101. Ugh.  And I see you inserted the "denial" stage in there. I seem to remember acceptance, anger, denial ... there are two more. Academia does tend to sterilize things doesn't it?Your poem's day-dream-like format is very effective to me here. The final stanza (before "of time") is particularly well written. I take it that "denial" is the frail protection you call a "folding cloak". Well done. Jim "If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther |
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haze Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528Bethlehem, PA USA |
POW! EXCELLENT WORK POET! ~haze DownTown Gurrl Publications Wired ChapBooks |
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Songbird Member Elite
since 1999-12-15
Posts 2184Missouri |
I really like this, I especially like the lines: how many of the mouths that chew on pens have kissed the brows of the cold? These are truly the essense of what you are saying, death is just a boring, scary subject until it hits home. |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Severn, You have captured so well the unnerving feeling most have about discussing death. We often choose to talk around the subject, the "folding cloak, word wrapping", burying that "secret dread" further into the subconscious. Very good work!...I can see you sitting, scribbling, in the lecture hall. Jim, The psychiatrist, Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, wrote of the psychological stages of dying and of grief. They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Of course, there are many traumatic life experiences that would also bring about this succession of reactions. Kubler-Ross wisely said, "If we choose to love, we must also have the courage to grieve." |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Hats off to WH. Three out of five isn't bad for a class I took ten years ago, is it? I also remember that those stages don't follow any particular order. Could this be inspiration for my next work? [This message has been edited by jbouder (edited 12-28-1999).] |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Severn...there's not a lot I can critique about this poem. It's well written and speaks loudly the message you are trying to bring across. The breaks enhance this piece by drawing attention where attention needs drawn. My critique...Well Done!! |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Hi there Kamla I'm back (nearly)from the nether world of Christmas, just gotta get past the Millennium then we'll be flying again  . I guess you are out to prove the point you made the other day "How do you citique a free verse poem like this?" - especially like this. I think Elizabeth made all the points I might have thought of (I can say that now she's made them ~smile~). At risk incurring the wrath of the our savage moderator (not u Ruth .. lol) I can only say at the moment that I loved it and will have another look as soon as I can.Philip |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Lizzy - Thankyou! Wow, I really appreciate your input and how thoughtfully you approached it. And you are, to me, an accomplished poet my friend...OK?! Truth to tell the thought of death really preoccupies me a lot and I'm having an age crisis. (ignoring that I'm 24 - I know! But still, I am - remember what Sylvia wrote? LOL). I opted for another paper at first and then changed my mind - because I was drawn to this one. I certainly won't be unaffected!Jim - Thankyou Yep, sterilisation - the key. The denial key in my mind. You got the point exactly - our words are our cloak. 'Immortality through intelligence' works two ways in this poem - leaving a legacy of written work behind, after one has died. Or simply feeling invincible through intelligence at the time - denial. I also don't think that denial is often an active concious thing - it works subconciously and frays - just as one doesn't notice the subtle fraying of the bottom of a coat, until it has progressed quite a lot. Tell me one thing - if you cut out the 'of time' at the end - how do you think it reads? Haze - Thankyou! Septsong - For many it probably is -especially the young. Thankyou. Wh - We do tend to skirt around this subject so baldly - which is part of the reason I chose this as my opening CA poem and didn't put this in Open. I'm glad my image came through OK - Thankyou! Wh and Jim - I'm not sure the paper will look at the stages (thankyou for those by the way - I stuck denial in there purely for its own sake - nothing to do with Soc. yet I have read there are seven stages in the grief process? Can't remember the other two, does that ring any bells?) In this paper we're going to look at the advance of dealing through death in religious terms to the now medicinal era - throwing in various cultures to focus on. (That content just increases the clinical element I think!) Ruth - thankyou...that is awesome! K...I am not a painter, I am a poet... F. O'Hara |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Didn't mean to miss you Phillip! (I was so scared to do this...LOL) Glad it agreed with you...thankyou! Any other looks would be greatly appreciated... K...I am not a painter, I am a poet... F. O'Hara |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Severn: I think "of time" should remain. It clarifies the cause of the fabric's fraying and makes the metaphor easier to understand. I actually used "of time" to help me interpret the metaphor. Just my humble opinion, however. Still, I am pleased that you would ask for it. I guess the stages of dying thing was an easy thing to pick up and run with considering the subject and the Sociology class. I thought there were five stages in Kubler-Ross' "On Death and Dying". Could be wrong though. My long term memory on the subject has been decaying for awhile now. Again, fine job on the poem.< !signature--> Jim "If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther [This message has been edited by jbouder (edited 12-28-1999).] |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Jim - that's great, thankyou. I wasn't sure if it was unnecessary, but obviously it isn't - and that is all I need to hear! You know what I'm going to have to do? Run out to a bookstore and find a book on death and grief! I have to know now...LOL. Cheers...  ...I am not a painter, I am a poet... F. O'Hara |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
By the way Severn...I took this class...Death and Dying...and your poem portrayed a lot of my feelings I had before going into it. |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Severn, Don't run out and buy a book you really don't need. I have one right in front of me. (just graduated this past spring...one of what colleges call those "nontraditional students", due to me being older than the average co-ed) It states that others besides Kubler-Ross have since presented their own theories. Wortman and Silver agree with K-R, while Saunders (1989) also describes five stages, but suggests that they are shock, awareness of loss, withdrawal, healing, and renewal. Wortman and Silver do agree with both theories, but they do say, Jim, that they do not occur in a set pattern in all individuals. I am likely one of few, but I was fascinated by this class. I suppose it may be because I disagree so very much with the overdone and meaningless circus that follows someone's death in this country. I am also a proponent of legalized (but carefully regulated) euthanasia, allowing the terminally ill to die with dignity. Once you get used to the idea, this class won't be as unnerving as you anticipate it to be. You may even begin to look forward to learning more. (I'm an "education aka learning" junkie) I hope this helped...and you didn't have to go out and buy that book. Again, great poem. warmhrt [This message has been edited by warmhrt (edited 12-28-1999).] |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Wh - thankyou! I am actually really interested in it - and I soak in learning like a sponge - that's the problem, my last sociology paper focused on gender roles and for a little while it was like 'WHAT is a woman? And am I real one or...' LOL! So, more than being unnerved, I think, I am more afraid of becoming preoccupied with it to such an extent that I become morbid. I will confess something to you about my views on euthanasia: the idea isn't entirely shocking or immoral to me either. I don't know - it seems like it is because of modern medicine that people get to prolong their lives - and sometimes suffer longer too. Ultimately of course, there are many grey areas and each case is individual. To me it is more than just dying with dignity - it is simply that no one should suffer for a long time if, without modern medicine, they would have died earlier, naturally, if the illness is terminal. (Not to say I don't approve of mod. med. - course I do! - Just don't like suffering. Hope that made sense and I didn't offend anyone!) Thankyou again, O giver of knowledge - and I'd by the book just cause it was there to be bought! K< !signature--> ...I am not a painter, I am a poet... F. O'Hara [This message has been edited by Severn (edited 12-28-1999).] |
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