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Critical Analysis #1
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Hawk183
Member
since 1999-12-24
Posts 130


0 posted 1999-12-24 04:15 PM


There was an aching,
It seemed that the sun was through with the moon.
"Can't blame him", says the sage,"eclipsed again and its only noon."

The moon had plans, and the stars had gone out,
but while he shines, she floats all about.
In the winter she misses him, for it is cold in the sky,
but the summer sits heavy, and his temper(ture)flies.  Little lies she can tell him, little lies he believes, stardusted eyes that make him week in the knees.

Theres no shadow for him, for his light is the truth.

but they are stuck in the sky, thats filled with space, but she orbits him always, she loves his face....


© Copyright 1999 Ryan Whittington - All Rights Reserved
Songbird
Member Elite
since 1999-12-15
Posts 2184
Missouri
1 posted 1999-12-24 08:44 PM


I like it. It is creative, a different twist of the moon and stars.
Hawk183
Member
since 1999-12-24
Posts 130

2 posted 1999-12-25 10:53 AM


This poem was actually very funny when I wrote it....I wanted a simplistic way to describe the deception of a woman I was dating....it was a bit of a joke when I wrote it....thank you for the posting
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