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Hawk183
Member
since 1999-12-24
Posts 130


0 posted 1999-12-24 11:35 AM



The Hug

"For her..."

I'll always remember my surprise at how little I knew...
How with all the experience that lay dormant in my mind, I was embarking blindly into places I had only read about.
For as much wisdom as you can gain from words on a page, five minutes of life can leave an unread novel in your soul....finaly an adventure.

......and the first time is like no other....

A moment in time when it simply does not exist, does not the weight that an eternal constant should....it just hangs idly by while the moment controls the forces of nature with a gentle restraint.  It comes to all things that walk this place, searching for that one hidden truth they pray will be their salvation.  I knew standing there just for that moment, but I also knew it would not be lost, that time would not dull the luster that seeks solitude in immortality.

.....and so it was it chose to change.....

Sometimes the only thing that can save a sinking soul,is two outstretched arms, saying very plainly and politley, "I am here."  Be it tears, or tears that will not be seen, we all cry for the same reasons.  But remorse not for loss traveler, for there is surely life left in all of us.  When no remedy of man can stop the bleeding, when no antidote is apparent, reach out...beyond yourself...for it may humbly yeild before the slightest touch.

.....even in loss there is life....

Endings bringing beginnings is a hard thing to fathom, for melodrama leaves countless scars.  We do not fear any longer those things which we do not understand, that being the motto of modern man. But sometimes we cannot hope to come out alive if we are alone, so we know what must be done.  My eyes still hold the wonder they once did, and my words are still laced with inspiration....one act has cast me away from desertion....has kept me sane in the storm...and in this no bitterness can ever settle in my heart, for there is simply no room.
I write to "Her.." now only to say thank you.  If even a single word on a single page can bring a smile, then maybe I have come close to replicating the feeling I get from the selfless act of a hug.

...and so it was, she smiled, closed her eyes one last time, and gave him a hug....


© Copyright 1999 Ryan Whittington - All Rights Reserved
jamaicabradley
Junior Member
since 1999-11-04
Posts 39

1 posted 1999-12-26 01:54 AM


Hello,
Hope your Christmas was satifactory...and I really like your poem, I especially like the line "and so it was it chose to change" I really like the flow of that and for the most part the whole poem had a good flow but I must say...
...that the word "hug" just drug the whole piece down for me...and that it was used twice in such close proximity really hurt my "flow" and the visualization I had going on. I only say this in mabey a harsh way because I was enjoying myself so much and then it just came to an abrupt end...I don't think I am being particularly constructive here but perhaps what I am trying to convey is that in my mind anyway a "hug" is such a physical absolute, and the poem just struck me as a bit metaphorical, and I really like that and then this absolute changed my flow anyhow I won't go on but I hope I have explained in a way you can understand, I'm still working on these critiques so please bear with me.
I really like it alot.
Jamaica  

Fairy Colours
Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 169
Sunrise,Fl,US
2 posted 1999-12-26 04:59 PM


I agree with my Jamaican friend. I like this alot. Oh and WELCOME   keep `em comming
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
3 posted 1999-12-26 08:46 PM


I rarely show my face in here, but to me, how can anyone criticise a HUG??..Well, not me but then I do love my HUGS..

 Don't ask me where I'm going, just listen when I'm gone and far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn.


Willem
Member
since 1999-11-18
Posts 139
Inverness, FL, USA
4 posted 1999-12-26 09:34 PM


Hawk, I must admit that upon first sight I
felt curious and even a little annoyed by
the unusual format of this poem.  But then
I read it again, and again, and became deeply
moved by the humble and delicate way this
first encounter and its effect on the writer
was described.  Romantic poetry at its best!

Willem

Hawk183
Member
since 1999-12-24
Posts 130

5 posted 1999-12-26 10:02 PM


Merry Christmas Yall,

Thanks for the postings....
Jamaica...I really appreciate the critique,and I am inclined to agree with you,
however...the poem was taken from an "absolute" situation that occured in my life, basicaly it was a good bye letter "for her.." after a whole series of "for her..." poems. I would post the rest, but the "her" has asked me to keep them for her eyes only.  Willem...thank you for the compliment...and I will try to work on the style a bit, just for first sight appeal. Thank you all.

warmhrt
Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563

6 posted 1999-12-27 02:40 AM


Hawk,
This was so different, held so much feeling and emotion...I can't imagine why "she" would let such an articulate, expressive, wise, and gentle soul like you go.
Great work!

warmhrt

Hawk183
Member
since 1999-12-24
Posts 130

7 posted 1999-12-28 09:49 AM


Let me tell you...this is the "her" from these poems speaking.  First of all, I didn't "let him go", he let me go...after over a year...he wasn't happy!  As for all of the pretty adjectives you are using to describe him...you don't know the half!  I just thought I would defend my name this once and for all.  Thank you very much.
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