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Passions in Poetry

My Autistic Son (a Petrarchan Sonnet*)

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jbouder
Member Elite
since 09-18-99
Posts 2641
Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash


25 posted 01-07-2000 10:04 AM       View Profile for jbouder   Email jbouder   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for jbouder

Kenneth:

LOL.  Thanks for the compliments.  A little afraid of reading my poems?  Miracle worker?  You don't need to the be former and I certainly am far from being the latter.  Thanks.  

Sherry:

Thanks for replying.  Pain (not overbearing) and wonderment pretty much sum it up.  I love my boys, though, and I am glad that I was able to communicate that atleast semi-effectively in this poem.

Ted:

Your comment stunned me.  Thank you.  

Hawk:

Working on it.  

Jenni (last but not least):

Anyone who is not completely honest with anything I write and post in CA or anywhere else is not doing me any favors.  If I wanted warm fuzzies I would stay in Open Poetry (no offense to those who post in Open Poetry ... I post there too but, maybe its just my Pennsylvanian cynicism, but all the niceness in there sometimes makes me want to spew).    I don't want this to be the best piece I've ever written.  Constructive criticism is what makes this Forum work, in my opinion.  If you were dishonest in your critique, I would probably have never given second thoughts to your points on meter.  No offense ... I mean NO offense ... was taken.  

"His love is blazoned on his beaming smile."

I see your point on the "...BLAZ-oned on his BEAM-ing..." I'll address that in a bit.

"And each Dark night"

This is where I am going to have to enlist Brad's help.  I've looked and looked and I can't find where Brad posted this information ... I may even be understanding it incorrectly, but I seem to remember him (Brad) mentioned something about stressed syllables.  I think he said something along the lines that some see syllables as not only "stressed" and "unstressed", but, rather, they see stressed syllables in levels ... 1, 2, 3, and 4.  

Again, Brad, forgive me if I've got this wrong.  I am going by four week old memory here.  My point is, yes, you could read "Dark night" as a spondaic foot.  My own natural reading of the line stresses "Dark" slightly less than "each" and "night" but more than the preceeding "And".  If I am understanding Brad's illusive explanation correctly (keeping in mind that I could be totally wrong), the stresses (numbered from least stressed "1" to most stressed "4") would be "And (1) each (4) Dark (3) night (4) ..."

BRAD!!! IF YOU'RE OUT THERE!!! HELP!  Seriously, if I am understanding this 1-2-3-4 thing wrong I would like to know.

And, Jenni, thanks for pointing out and confirming that my suspicions were correct that Philip was right about the punctuation.  And never again apologize for an honest critique ... at least not to me.  



 Jim

"If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther

Midnitesun
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Member Empyrean
since 05-18-2001
Posts 29020
Gaia


26 posted 07-09-2003 03:06 PM       View Profile for Midnitesun   Email Midnitesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Midnitesun

This came up from the archives, thanks to a link from Nan.
I never had the opportunity of reading this before today. I wanted to tell you how much it moved me, for personal reasons. Thank you so much for sharing your son's story.
Kacy, Midnitesun in Open
Jennis#1
Member
since 07-08-2003
Posts 113
IL, Usa


27 posted 07-09-2003 04:35 PM       View Profile for Jennis#1   Email Jennis#1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jennis#1

Jim,
I want to say thanks for writting such a wonderful poem. It made me cry so hard.
When I read the poem my eyes were not dry. I hope to read more of your work in the future. I too work with children with austim and I think that we can learn a lot from these special kids. I have written a few poems on he subject of austim.
Keep on writting and don't ever stop.

 
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