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Hungry After Breakfast
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Hungry After Breakfast |
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leon Junior Member
since 1999-12-13
Posts 23 |
It's the way she sips her coffee, lips pouting over a taste of steam. The mind is cool, yet my forehead sweats, when she stirs that spoon in her cup. Kitchen table has legs to stand, shakes rough noise from a tiled floor, on which we work together, holding down, to seal our squeaks. Prying morning comes to peek; dining room fills with sunbeams. A stove that heats, the eggs in pan, bacon fries in sizzle. That nudge, she hints, already she feels-- wants afterglow repolished brighter. Again our taste for pleasure, since all night has made our day to blossom. 1999 - Leon J. W. |
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| © Copyright 1999 leon - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kenneth Ray Taylor Member
since 1999-11-11
Posts 139Duluth, Minnesota, USA |
Interesting. The first stanza is especially expressive, paints a wonderful mood. I had to read it twice to come up with an interpretation. Sex on the kitchen table? My son was conceived on the laundry table. When you have two teenagers in the house, you have to get creative. |
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haze Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528Bethlehem, PA USA |
Absolutely provocative Excellent writing drawing the reader into the experience. KUDOS! |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
~smile~ Leon, I had to read five and a half lines to come up with an interpretation !! (what's wrong with your imagination Kenneth?  )Again .. some wonderful lines: "shakes rough noise from a tiled floor" "on which we work together" .. lol "pouting over a taste of steam" .. brilliant "wants afterglow repolished brighter" This is warm and beautiful poetry. Philip |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
After the "lips pouting over a taste of steam" I knew he was going for it. What's wrong with your imagination, Philip?  Seriously, I agree with Philip. There are some excellent lines here. It rings a little of autobiography though, you animal! Jim "If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther |
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roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
this is one that makes the reader kind of grin a little embarassed, but it's still extremely good. the image of these people atop the kitchen table, well-created. |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
There's an irresistable joy here; I enjoyed it very much. Of course, I've written this theme as well (twice -- it's a great poem to give to a woman) but in many ways I think you've captured the sights, sounds, and smells of that morning moment. Great job!! Sex? What are you guys talking about? This is a family forum -- there are many possible interpretations to this poem, still another sign of a great poem. Brad |
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Misty_Skies Junior Member
since 1999-12-13
Posts 17 |
Leon, (BLUSHING) I'm a young mother, and I have...Well...You know...In some weird, but fun places. Including the picture you paint... I found it rather, interesting, a bit steamy. Well written I would say...(Smiling) I liked it. Misty |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
~smile~ Y'know Brad .. I've thought and thought .. and I can't "come up" with a single one .. tell me what's wrong with my imagination? . |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
I loved this...brought back a sweet memory. You penned it well. Did you clear the table first, or just push everything aside? I lost a glass or two to the kitchen floor, but would lose a hundred more. Nice work.... warmhrt |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
*ahem* I'm gonna hafta side with ol' Philip here, Brad. This poem is most definately about sex on the table. Leon! Leon? You there my friend? Why don't you show your face and clear the waters for our buddy Brad. Jim "If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther |
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leon Junior Member
since 1999-12-13
Posts 23 |
In response to all questions about a wonderful morning, all I can say is--a gentleman never tells. Leon |
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Kenneth Ray Taylor Member
since 1999-11-11
Posts 139Duluth, Minnesota, USA |
Okay. I admit it. Everybody else is smarter than I. First, because it took me two readings to realize what the poem was about. And second, because I, unlike Brad, cannot think of a single other interpretation. I once wrote a poem about sneaking off into the woods to "fulfill what we desire beneath the stars." But just in case any might be offended, I explained that it's getting harder and harder to find a place to smoke. |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
... 'ere Jim you "30 years uneducated yank" less of the "ol'" if you please (in my best priggish English accent), another 12 years an' you'll be where I am ..... heh ....... anyway who told you that I've forgotten what sex on a table is like!? ... your evergreen friend Philip |
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Trevor Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 700Canada |
Hello, I'm going to have to follow suit and agree with the masses, I really liked this poem. Made me both hungry for breakfast and for an old girlfriend. Anyways, thanks for the read, really enjoyed it, Trevor |
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Fairy Colours Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 169Sunrise,Fl,US |
This made me blush  But I saw the images you created, And I love it when a poem can make me do that.--A Little Fairy-- |
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