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Twenty Years After Lunch
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Twenty Years After Lunch |
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haze Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528Bethlehem, PA USA 
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I can still see his face framed by Canon garland tethered to 35 mm's with the atomic weight of cobalt Caribbean 1979 He watched me butterfly stroke through equatorial afternoons passing dark hands reaching to touch light hair lighter skin frail and shaded patterned by thatched shadows He watched me weave through crowds stop aghast under larger-than-life frames of communism pleading rebirth from illiterate votes After 2 weeks of watching he waited Minnesota pale under the colannade In Mid-West U.S. whispers "May I" camera extended like a hand shivering a frond in tropical wind brought early on November monsoon The Rain was quiet out of the way of downtown hustle and lunch he said was on him if I would pause for just an hour and then a minute for the camera to focus and capture blonde lilith spirit floating under glass Saint Lucia sun Patois serenade and clear French wine then everyday until the day I left him waving alone on black tarmac haze |
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| © Copyright 1999 Haze McElhenny - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Haze I feel I more or less followed this poem at a first reading (which is more than I could say about Silk Tigers !) and I liked it a lot. Quite apart from the story line I loved "Minnesota pale" and "butterfly stroke through equatorial afternoons" ... oh yes .. and your site is impressive too, both the poems and the images .. now what's that word you use: ............ KUDOS ! Philip |
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roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
let me say that i cannot touch this poem in talent.... it's extremely well-written and descriptive that's really all i can say.  |
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haze Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528Bethlehem, PA USA |
Philip and Roxanne...THANK YOU! Forgive me please, I am still trying to figure out how to respond to you individually. (go on now laugh). Philip...I am flattered that you remember Silk Tigers and thank you for visiting my site. I will have to go about and see if you have one. Thank you so much for your kind words. I always look forward to reading your work... Miss Roxanne...Again I humbly thank you. I am ALWAYS in awe of your work. Even if I do not comment I am always truly impressed by your style... TA my friends...~haze |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
No, No, I had a Minolta... LOL... Oh, the things you take me back to.  How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it. -Marcus Aurelius |
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Iloveit Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121NM |
haze, I love the way you write, I don't have much time in CA or online period, and would have to study your style in depth to offer any critism, so for now I will just say how much I really like this....you paint pictures with your poems that stay in the mind even more than a kodak |
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